Quote Originally Posted by gnome View Post
Some folks must love torturing themselves and read every article LeDuff pens. They think he's a hack, a putz, an affirmative action cause celeb whose main purpose in life is to torture DYers with each keystroke.

Save yourself the .50 cents, or more likely the daily trip to the library to get a free read, and pass up the News. Really, do yourself a favor. Do your colon a favor. Your marriage will thank you, your wife will think you're a much happier guy, and best of all Jasmine, your blow-up doll will think you're Cary Grantish. Really. win,win, win.

After your mid-morning cuddle with Jasmine, a colon cleanse around 1, you can spend the rest of your busy schedule not reading the News. Perfect. Plenty of time to go urban spelunking, or kicking back at Cafe DeMongo's with a stylistly downscale PBR, proping your Chuck Taylors on the bar stool and planning what flavor HotPockets you'll be nuking for wifey after her double shift at Wendys.
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Bitte?