About Detroit's future.

[p69rrh51]

Alright, I'm going to try and be as honest as possible with my answers. This is what I REALLY think would be necessary to save Detroit, even if I probably wouldn't like to see some or most of it happen:

1. Schools that cater to affluent Detroiters and say "SCREW YOU" to the rest. I'm talking magnet schools that would purposely only admit children from well-to-do parents in neighborhoods like Corktown or Midtown. A lion's share of the funding would have to go to such schools, while the rest of the schools would be spun off to private contractors and run like prisons, as the dying neighborhoods around those schools are quickly killed of.

It's the only way affluent parents would feel like they have control of their child's education, keeping them in their hip neighborhoods. Little Johnny needs to be cultured, you know!

2. NEW BUILDINGS. When we decided to put most of the new skyscrapers in Southfield and Troy, we basically bet against Detroit. Detroit needs new buildings [[like it or not, Americans LOVE new) to fill in all the cracks, and perhaps more demolishing of older structures. By forcing the business class into the center city, you do a lot of good.

For example, I'd demolish Michigan Central Station and put shiny new mixed use buildings there. We'd all hate it, but in time, yuppies would move in like crazy. And don't worry, some of the old columns could be put in a nearby park.

I've noticed that black, middle class Detroiters tend to flock to any new housing developments in the inner ring suburbs - put up some proper new housing in a stabilized Corktown, for example, and affluent blacks would gobble it up right along with the yuppie whites. Middle class blacks typically have a lot of ties to the city and would like to remain in the area.

Hopefully, we'd also eventually see the skyscrapers in Southfield and Troy turned into low-income housing for all the people fleeing the failed neighborhoods in Detroit, or torn down. In the future, gas will be prohibitively expensive, and the suburbs will turn into slums as we move back into the dense city centers.

3. LIGHT RAIL. The Motor City needs to reimagine itself as the Light Rail City. While we have some great engineers here, the future isn't in the automobile. We need to become a hub for light rail technology. With much of historic Detroit originally built around the streetcar, we're in a unique infrastructural position. We can make the transition better than cities like Atlanta, L.A., and Dallas, and by leading in this field, the loss of the automotive industry shouldn't hurt us a bit!

Eventually, we would likely see new developments branching out into the cornfields that will soon butt up against neighborhoods like Midtown and Corktown. It'll look like the new buildings in Royal Oak, and yuppies will LOVE it.

4. DISINVEST in doomed neighborhoods. Cut the lights, let the trash pile up, and hand out trumped up evictions like candy. Condemn buildings everywhere except where people with money want to live. Just throwing that facet of the plan out there for those that missed the subtext so far.

5. FARMS, FARMS, FARMS! The areas around neighborhoods like East English Village should be turned into hotbeds for experimental agriculture. Poor Detroiters could work on these farms for minimum wage [[any talks of unions would be grounds for firing), their deteriorating homes sitting on the rich, mildly toxic farmland like old shacks on the Mississippi Delta. Families from affluent families could pay to pick vegetables with their children, or take tours to see how the other half lives.

6. Finally, we need more MEN IN BLUE! A provision should be made in the city charter that all city income taxes will go to the police force, which will have a permanent state-appointed manager.

Alright, that's all for now, folks!

Not bad something to piss off everyone!