Quote Originally Posted by Ravine View Post
English, there are some quarters-- or slices, if you will play along-- where you will be excoriated for over-personalizing some of your analyses, but you hit several nails on their rusty little heads.
LOL! I hear you. I hate that it IS so personal. When I walk out the front door in SE Michigan, if I am not careful with dress, appearance, and speech? There but for the grace of God go I. [[It was even worse when I was younger. I've talked about trying to purchase a new vehicle around metro Detroit as a young teacher. So glad I don't look like a teenager anymore...)

It's also personal because if I diassociate myself from black Detroit, I'm necessarily implicated in any topic where black Detroiters are indexed. "Why don't you DO something? Yes, it DOES affect you." "Black people need to stop killing each other and get a good education." "Black women are loose. They have more STDs." I mean, I could do what a few of us do, and completely ignore the fact that I'm a black Detroiter and just be this lone individual -- English -- but unfortunately, the social subjectivity of race is an inescapable trap.

Also, generation has something to do with this. Because the folks that are doing the dirt and running wild won't listen, those of us who are young[[er) and responsible constantly have to hear from older African Americans that our generation is dropping the ball. So offline, I'm constantly trying to explain to the 60 and up crowd at church, at the sorority, and on campus -- "Why aren't these parents raising their children?" "Why are children so disrespectful?" "Why do you young women think it's OK to have all these babies before you're married?" "Why can't he/she hold down a job?" I have a high tolerance for this kind of questioning, but most people in my generation resent the hell out of it... especially if they're trying to be an individual living life productively.

Hell, I don't know why people make crazy, self-destructive choices. I never cease being bewildered. Sue me.

I wish it weren't personal. I don't wish I weren't black, but it'd be nice if being black was like being a blonde vs. a redhead vs. a brunette. Sad to say, it's not.

Still, while I acknowledge the peer pressure to which you referred, that, like some of the stuff I mentioned about the guys, is too convenient an "out" for people who are refusing to take the bull of adult-hood by the horns and start making self-directed decisions that will serve them well, long-term.
As long as a person is allowing themselves to be talked [[even by themselves) into doing things and succumbing to peer pressure, that person is not, themselves, anywhere near maturity and is damned sure unfit, and entirely unready, for parenthood.
I realize that you know that. I just thought it could use a bit of illumination.
Agreed. But we have somehow created a social system where perpetual adolescence is rewarded. I'd argue that among the desperately poor, this escalates into violence and other forms of pathos. However, across classes, Americans don't really want to grow up. [[That's an entire essay in itself.)