"In the near future, Kilpatrick said, he plans to mentor inner-city children."

Can't a condition of his parole be a ban on coming in contact with children? Well, you see, if you're class President and having a candy sale, your friends deserve some free samples and hall passes for all the profit the candy company and school will be making from the sales. Especially the school, they're easy pickens. I'll have my dad introduce you to some people he knows in the candy business.