I acknowledge the ancilliary costs. Many people, throughout the world, find personal automobiles to be worth it due their their unparalleled ability to provide personal mobility. That utility is going to be a big impediment toward transitioning to the model you describe in your second paragraph.
I agree that dense clustering is more efficient in many respects and allows transit to work better. I get it. But most people prefer to make the trade-offs necessary to live the suburban lifestyle, as hard as it may be for unbanophiles to understand. That's the biggest obstacle to what you envision.
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