I'm sorry to hear that your experience w/these four dealerships weren't all that great [[if you need names of good salespeople at each of those dealers for any reason, let me know). I am curious, however, to hear about how your negotiations with the dealers went.
Since I have family that works in the auto industry, I only have purchased cars using their employee discounts. I had assumed that the way that most people purchased their cars were that they got quotes online from dealers. They then went to the dealers who gave them the best price and negotiated with those dealers. In negotiating, they used websites like Edmunds.com for invoice and true market pricing to get the best deal possible.
What has been your approach? Has it been the same for all of the brands that you're shopping?
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