Facebook blunders

**sumas** · April-30-09, 03:34 AM

Encouraged by some friends and family, I joined facebook. I saw no particular value in this service and had no wish to share personal info with millions of strangers. I posted mininmal info on my bio.

It appeared to me that there seemed to be sub groups. Relatives wanted us to sign up for family groups. So I did. I thought my update to family members was aimed to that small sub set.

Imagine my surprise to find out that what I thought were personal confidences to family were telecast to the world at large. Happily, I had said nothing horrific. I am a somewhat private person and see zero value in plastering confidential thoughts into the ether.

From now on I am sticking to emails or forums like this where some privacy is respected.

**Pam** · April-30-09, 06:30 AM

Encouraged by some friends and family, I joined facebook

I'm still avoiding it. My friends and family know where to reach me without it.

**rb336** · April-30-09, 07:23 AM

It started with telephones -- people would drop whatever they were doing just to answer the damn phone. now it's the same with cells, and facebook, and twitter and all that crap. What is it with people who have to be constantly connected to a world of incredibly inane banter? and that "looped" program on the iphone? if i want my friends [[or anyone) to know where I am, I'll tell them

**Olddetroiter** · April-30-09, 07:29 AM

I signed up for it awhile ago because my wife wanted to see her granddaughter's pictures. I only entered the minimum required info about myself. Now I'm getting requests from people I never heard of wanting me to add them as friends. No way!

**jcole** · April-30-09, 08:21 AM

If you go into Settings/Privacy settings you can lock down who sees your profile.

**sumas** · April-30-09, 09:34 AM

Thank you Jcole. I always appreciate advice but in this case I am not internet or even very computer savy which tells me stick to KISS [[keep it simple stupid)!

I am always amazed at peoples ability to navigate and utilize the vast resources of the web. When this forum changed over, I copied pages of how to do things. Then I realized I would never need to get so specialized.

The mistake was all mine posting info without an entire knowledge of who would receive it. It does scare me a bit though that Facebook has the ability to get so much private information out there. I think the only thing they don't ask one to post is their SS #.

Another aspect that I hadn't even thought of was mentioned by a friend. Bill collectors hunting people down for past debt. Fortunately I have no money, owe no money so it doesn't apply to me but what about all our displaced workers out there? Scary stuff!

**G-DDT** · April-21-15, 10:08 PM

Just moping about when I came across this ancient thread, and I really respect folks apprehensions even then. Spying? that has been proven true.

Also, if it wasn't mentioned much later, I think it's worth briefing this thread up to the present with this article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_5540018.html I've never needed a Facebook account, and I pray to God I never will. I think it awesome that when I was tooling around Harvard, the only cool "house" was Quincy house [[the one that uses a penguin for a mascot); they not only had public giveaways in their open courtyard from all the amassed things the students discarded at the end of semester [[versus just tossing it all out), they were mentioned in the movie "Social Network" as having no Facebook. Hope that remains the case.

I made the mistake of joining Linkedin, and it does nothing good for me. I can do without any of the stupid newsfeeds and corporate or TedX pap they bombard with with. It tries to put me in a situation where ageists can write me off. The only good I see in it, is coming across the folks I want to avoid from my past and scope who or what they are [[or were always) involved with; it allowed me a function where I can make personal [[I hope) notes of those I want to avoid, and then it just stopped letting me do that [[no explanation-just said I can't use that function anymore). As far as the people I do stay in touch with, I once was allowed to send a birthday message to someone I care about who I was "linked" with, then that person [[who was surprised Linkedin had this function) responded with a thanks and an inquiry to my well-being, when I responded, I got no return message, as if she never got it through Linkedin or something. Really pisses me off!

rb336 was right. There is truth to "absence make the heart grow fonder". This is why giving each other room and space helps us co-exist even with those we truly love. We do not have to keep giving each other pointless, tiring updates, and then stare each other in dulldrom when we do meet face to face [[if that even happens anymore-thanks to our technology that was "supposed to bring us together"; St. John mentioned a few times in his letters how he preferred face-to-face contact). Save it, baby, save it, and then let it all come out.

**Pam** · April-22-15, 06:54 AM

We do not have to keep giving each other pointless, tiring updates, and then stare each other in dulldrom when we do meet face to face

Some people are still glued to the smartphone or tablet even when out with "real people".

**rb336** · May-02-15, 08:26 PM

Originally Posted by Pam

Some people are still glued to the smartphone or tablet even when out with "real people".

sometimes it seems like most

**Maof** · April-22-15, 07:32 AM

G-DDT... i agree about facebook, have no interest either. imo, it just seems to be a lurking tool and i like my privacy. to time consuming. when my kids were in middle school, i allowed them an account with me having their passwords to monitor it. why they had 300 "friends", i'll never know. friends of friends of friends! now that their college students [[no more monitoring for me), they are not into facebook as much anymore. many of them have a twitter and instagram account.

regarding linkedin, they were encouraged to have one and they both do. i just don't get that either. one will graduate in a year, the other in 3. why the need to have one now, i just don't know. any feedback on that?

**G-DDT** · April-22-15, 11:31 AM

Originally Posted by Maof

G-DDT... i agree about facebook, have no interest either. imo, it just seems to be a lurking tool and i like my privacy. to time consuming. when my kids were in middle school, i allowed them an account with me having their passwords to monitor it. why they had 300 "friends", i'll never know. friends of friends of friends! now that their college students [[no more monitoring for me), they are not into facebook as much anymore. many of them have a twitter and instagram account.

regarding linkedin, they were encouraged to have one and they both do. i just don't get that either. one will graduate in a year, the other in 3. why the need to have one now, i just don't know. any feedback on that?

Sadly, I can't say. The term "corporate tether" was often applied to phones and sites that closely monitored employees and made sure they can contact them at all times, even when folks were well in the rights "off the clock" [[remember the old saying of the housewife asking the husband to "not bring his work home with him"); in fact, if there was one good aspect in that Robin Williams flick RV, it would be that here was a man who didn't know when to "disconnect" and put his work behind him on vacation [[I remember a Subgenius rant where Ivan Stang went on about ads getting folks on the bandwagon about how great it is to have technology that allows you to take your work with you, even when you're on your own freetime).

Some jobs require these dumb social media networks to assess folks in a most 1984 [[yeah, I said it!)-like manner. Like I said about Linkedin, they keep pushing me specifically about when I graduated and my birth year. Sadly, Michigan [[like many states) does not have as good a labor laws protecting employees as some states [[Kentucky is only one of a few states that actually requires employers give employees a ten minute break every four hours, and I always thought that was a standard everywhere-look it up!). Luckily, I took some required Job Readiness Training courses in good ol' edumacated Massachusetts, and the only thing I got out of them was knowing what questions you are not required to answer in certain formats. One is age or a lock on when you graduated, that allows "ageists" to write you off; Massachusetts has laws protecting you from having to answer that question.

I've met a lot of "internet celebrities"-the kind who maintain a phony persona with trappings of things they like and culture they surround themselves with in a most self-aggrandizing sort of way. Yet, if you really see them up close and get to know them, they are not as polished and have some repulsive habits contradictory to what they profess to be. This also falls in line with the Dunning-Kruger effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning...3Kruger_effect, or as Saturday Night Live made fun of on an episode with Daniel Radcliffe, the "You Can Do Anything" mentality of the internet.

It lacks genuine humility, and it is proof that there is another drive that pushes folks past the ones Freud or Darwin speak of, and it's the drive to "justify", "validate" or "redeem" yourself or your existence-even if foolishly in the eyes of others. Christians only seek redemption [[through Christ's sacrifice and resurrection) with God not with others or themselves. Not Christian? Well, consider the lines from one of the Batman movies "It's not who I am underneath... but what I do... that defines me."

**Zacha341** · April-23-15, 12:47 AM

Don't have an active FB. I started an anonymous one and heard about the problems others were having, got a few odd contacts from folks I did NOT want 'referenced' to me so I tried to close it. You cannot CLOSE a FB once you start one. You can only make it dormant. Great.

Linkedin likewise, but if you choose to have public one for network and business purposes, you can turn off most notifications like b-days, job anniversaries etc. so you're not bothered or bothering anyone else.

Use a nondescript graphic instead of your personal photo. And I avoid connecting to any LI forums which have any particular political or social slant as I know employers check. Just stick with items related to business, period.

**Jimaz** · May-01-15, 09:31 PM

Worth two clicks for the laughs:
DetroitYES Home » Detroit Connections » Fun Videos » Facebook Manners And You

**sumas** · May-02-15, 09:28 AM

What I find wierd is facebook seems to assign me "friends", I don't know these people. I don't open messages. I just delete and delete.

**Zacha341** · May-03-15, 09:46 AM

Hah. Hilarious! So-called 'text' break ups are common too. Who does that? Apparently it's happening alot I hear.

**G-DDT** · May-03-15, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by Zacha341

Hah. Hilarious! So-called 'text' break ups are common too. Who does that? Apparently it's happening I hear.

Are we all becoming passive-aggressive techno-weasles who have no sense of responsibility or accountability? There would be more dignity in hiring Christopher Walken to do the breaking-up for you.