To hell with the beloved Allemons calendar and the first robin of spring - here are “the real top ten signs of spring in the grosse pointes” as assembled by a group of cynical neighbors while imbibing in some St Patrick day beverages.

Enjoy in the spirit of silly fun.

10. Location: The Village. Facades start to peel off buildings.

9. Location: Any street. Cease and tear down notices are placed on the withered remains of any still standing “snow people” [[ sic ) by the Pointes Beautification Council.

8. Location: Streets along the Mack Avenue border with Detroit. Yard clean up of dog droppings and stray bullets from the various holiday gun discharge celebrations.

7. Location: Fisher Road and Grosse Point Boulevard. Pink and / or Madras shorts are worn by a select group of privileged, style stagnant, bony kneed boys at Grosse Pointe South High School.

6. Location: any Kroger parking lot. Continued complete disregard of parking space lines even though they are now clearly visible after the snow melt.

5. Location: Moross and Cadieux Avenues. Traffic jams caused by oversized SUVs pulling trailers with tiny boats down to the Lake St Clair launch ramps.

4. Location: Windmill Point Drive. Taxpayer funded pot hole patching trucks are reallocated and can be seen making repairs to the driveways and parking pads of the politically connected.

3. Location: Charlevoix Street. Ninja health nuts take advantage of Daylight Savings Time by exercising their rights to fulfill a death wish and dress in non reflective dark clothes while running in the road.

2. Location: Any of the 3 shopping districts along Kercheval. Trophy wives and their inverse [[ ie recently divorced women ) show off their Valentines Day boob jobs, butt lifts and other “work” in skin tight yoga pants and cleavage revealing tops as they “shop” and “lunch” in all the new trendy places.

1. Location: East Jefferson and Barrington Road through Lakeshore and the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House. [[ da loop ) Penile overcompensating one percenters drive their uber expensive, vowel heavy, exotic convertibles at 20 MPH to show off their fiscal superiority, taunt the LEO’s and troll for the number 2’s in this list.

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Feel free to add anything we may have missed or compile a list that’s unique to your community.