Advice Wanted: Elderly Parent Moving In

[SJ.Jet]

Don't know what your mother's personality is like but if it's anything like my mother's, you will need to grow a thicker skin. My mother does not live with me, YET, but even when she's just visiting, she's highly critical of all things. I hear things like: Why did you buy that brand of dish soap? You should use [[insert name of any other brand), it's better. I don't vacuum correctly, fold towels correctly, etc.

As far as family goes, my older brother moved out of state in 1982, he's been back to MI once, for my father's funeral. Whenever I have called him for advice about our mom, he says: I don't know why you call me, I'm way out here, there's nothing I can do from here. Bunch'a'BS!
Two years ago he called me to say he was in the UP, had been there for about a week, and wanted to know if I would drive my mother to Gaylord [[we live near Detroit), where he would meet us, so they could visit because "he just didn't know if he could handle driving another 500+ miles". He also said "he didn't know if he could handle driving in the city".
Although it would only have been an overnight trip [[all the time he could spare to "visit"), I told him no...

[Jimaz]

If there are any ambulatory problems an empathetic physical therapist can be invaluable. Sometimes major problems can be averted or corrected with some simple exercises.

I doubt this forum will give enough good advice. This forum won't replace the advice of professionals who know the specific details of the individual.

[reddog289]

After reading the posts on here,I am starting to remember what infighting went on when my Grandma was in need of care.For the most part everyone did their share.Funny thing how sometimes democrocy don't work.Being the only child in this deal will solve disputes but having two cousins, one who I consider an over educated air head giving me advice, don't help. My mother helped raise her also and her Mom did the same with me so it all should be a priority that the best intrest of the loved one is taken care of not a bunch of BS that goes on in these cases.

[sumas]

Lodge, you did'nt say how ambulatory she is. Make sure she has her own TV and phone line. Make sure she can visit her friends and have her friends over. If she is a church goer, see that she gets there. Consult on dinner menu and other items. Make sure she feels involved.

My Mom's best friend recently moved to Ann Arbor to live with family [[health issues) It has been hard on both of them. It isn't practical to drive her that far so we are looking at options. We have a small room on the first floor that I use as an office. I am thinking we could make it a bedroom so her friend can visit a few days at a time.

Good luck and enjoy your time with her. Somethings end up kinda cute. Just now, Mom knocked at the door to see if I was working today and was I ready. I am set to go. They were care givers most of their life. It doesn't end in old age. You think you're taking care of them and they think they are taking care of you. Too funny.

[eriedearie]

They were care givers most of their life. It doesn't end in old age. You think you're taking care of them and they think they are taking care of you. Too funny.

Good way to put it! Once a parent, always a parent!

[Bobl]

Congratulations to both of you.
Be certain that you and the "better half" have some time for breaks, even if just a few hours out for dinner or entertainment every week. Schedule it. Do it.
If family cannot help, pay a caretaker.