Pray the Gay Away

**maxx** · March-13-11, 08:22 PM

This is the second installment of a new show on OWN, "Our America". It's amazing that people just swallow religious swill like what the Exodus program claims. The idea that a gay person can become straight by force of will or praying is ridiculous and is not born out by any longterm studies. At least the Exodus program no longer claims to change people's sexual orientation. I wonder why it is still in business then. And these programs say that a person must choose between homosexuality and Jesus even though there are no teachings of Jesus that address homosexuality. You have to go back to the bronze age OT to find commands against it, the same books where people are told when to stone their own children. One former Exodus member told terrible stories of people mutilating themselves after failing to turn straight. This sort of religious preaching that says that homosexuality is hated by some god is nothing less than psychological warfare on gays and lesbians.

**maxx** · March-13-11, 08:24 PM

http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/

**belleislerunner** · March-14-11, 08:04 AM

I have friends who when in their 20's would go to gay bars in Ferndale and Detroit and would assimilate/live the gay life. Two of them in particular, reached their late 20's and concluded that the gay lifestyle wasn't for them - and in reality they were just going after easy sex, no commitments. The gender was irrelevant. Both of them have since married women and one has a 9 month old daughter. From all accounts - they've been happy. I have other friends who are perfectly happy in gay relationships. I think both are acceptable. If a community encourages people to "come out" and celebrate their sexuality they should also be permitted to encourage people to "move on" with life if they conclude that a gay life isn't for them. I think gay people could feel threatened if others "stop being gay" because it could lead to arguments to why don't you specifically change as well. If you counter - it's impossible to change - that gives the first argument weight. If you know of instances where people have changed - it becomes a little more muddy. It's probably a little like autism - there's a spectrum and there are some men who are 100% attracted to men and there are some who are 75% attracted to women and 25% attracted to men etc. If a married guy has sex with a guy - it's largely thought "he's gay". But if a guy who has slept with other guys has sex with a girl - there isn't the same "he's straight". Sometimes the lines/boxes we try to build aren't meant to be. Just being open to love is what is paramount.

**bailey** · March-14-11, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by belleislerunner

I have friends who when in their 20's would go to gay bars in Ferndale and Detroit and would assimilate/live the gay life. Two of them in particular, reached their late 20's and concluded that the gay lifestyle wasn't for them - and in reality they were just going after easy sex, no commitments. The gender was irrelevant. Both of them have since married women and one has a 9 month old daughter. From all accounts - they've been happy. I have other friends who are perfectly happy in gay relationships. I think both are acceptable. If a community encourages people to "come out" and celebrate their sexuality they should also be permitted to encourage people to "move on" with life if they conclude that a gay life isn't for them. I think gay people could feel threatened if others "stop being gay" because it could lead to arguments to why don't you specifically change as well. If you counter - it's impossible to change - that gives the first argument weight. If you know of instances where people have changed - it becomes a little more muddy. It's probably a little like autism - there's a spectrum and there are some men who are 100% attracted to men and there are some who are 75% attracted to women and 25% attracted to men etc. If a married guy has sex with a guy - it's largely thought "he's gay". But if a guy who has slept with other guys has sex with a girl - there isn't the same "he's straight". Sometimes the lines/boxes we try to build aren't meant to be. Just being open to love is what is paramount.

There is no movement afoot in the gay community to enforce rigid sexual orientation guidelines. Most recognize that sexuality can be fluid. From someone that has spent time in an all male boarding school, travel sports teams and the military...there is a lot more fluidity out there than a lot will admit. The problem with the "ex gays" is they start from the premise that any sexual orientation other than 100% straight is absolutely wrong. Any "science" they rely upon to come to their conclusions and that backs their "programs" is complete junk at best...or thoroughly discredited at worst. So basically they take people who are already struggling with rejection and emotional abuse from ultra religious families and communities and brain wash them into believing their totally natural attractions are dirty and disgusting and must be changed. THAT is the problem the gays have with the "ex gays", no that some people might decide at some point that they come down somewhere else on the spectrum.

**maxx** · March-14-11, 01:12 PM

In my 20s and 30s, I was aware of the het lifestyle which was also bar-hopping and promiscuity. And I think it's still that way for a lot of het young people.

**jerrytimes** · March-14-11, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by belleislerunner

I have friends who when in their 20's would go to gay bars in Ferndale and Detroit and would assimilate/live the gay life. Two of them in particular, reached their late 20's and concluded that the gay lifestyle wasn't for them - and in reality they were just going after easy sex, no commitments. The gender was irrelevant. Both of them have since married women and one has a 9 month old daughter. From all accounts - they've been happy. I have other friends who are perfectly happy in gay relationships. I think both are acceptable. If a community encourages people to "come out" and celebrate their sexuality they should also be permitted to encourage people to "move on" with life if they conclude that a gay life isn't for them. I think gay people could feel threatened if others "stop being gay" because it could lead to arguments to why don't you specifically change as well. If you counter - it's impossible to change - that gives the first argument weight. If you know of instances where people have changed - it becomes a little more muddy. It's probably a little like autism - there's a spectrum and there are some men who are 100% attracted to men and there are some who are 75% attracted to women and 25% attracted to men etc. If a married guy has sex with a guy - it's largely thought "he's gay". But if a guy who has slept with other guys has sex with a girl - there isn't the same "he's straight". Sometimes the lines/boxes we try to build aren't meant to be. Just being open to love is what is paramount.

I know a couple of people that I went to high school that experienced the same thing. I find it odd, but at the same time I couldn't care less. Behind closed doors, do what you please but leave me out of it.

**1KielsonDrive** · March-15-11, 12:08 AM

I'm praying, I'm praying. I'm praying those queers will just go away. And take their service in our armed forces, they're active memberships in our churches, they're adoption of children in need of homes, they're education, they're creativity, they're art and literature, they're community involvements, they're volunteering, and most of all their love and care for others. Goddamn them for being queer and not being straight.

**Django** · March-15-11, 06:45 PM

A close friend of mine worked for a decade at a local Christian high school near Southfield. He was an art teacher and had a great rapport. The school brought in a counselor to talk to any kids who may have any "gay tendencies" The counselor was there to straighten them out. When my friend asked the board if there was an alternative to the counselor in case there was a kid who felt they didnt want "changing" they immediately had a meeting and my friend was told he was no longer needed as a teacher.
Private school means no recourse.

If I got any details wrong I hope my friend will correct them, hes here every once in a while.

**1KielsonDrive** · March-18-11, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by 1KielsonDrive

I'm praying, I'm praying. I'm praying those queers will just go away. And take their service in our armed forces, they're active memberships in our churches, they're adoption of children in need of homes, they're education, they're creativity, they're art and literature, they're community involvements, they're volunteering, and most of all their love and care for others. Goddamn them for being queer and not being straight.

Their, their, their and their. I am not going to write it on the blackboard one hundred times.

**krapug1** · March-18-11, 11:53 AM

Whenever I hear someone say that they have it live a "gay lifestyle", because they are homosexual,
I pity them, and then some.

Clearly people like this are lost souls, who for whatever reason are hanging around with the wrong crowd, and becoming a closet heterosexual is not the answer to a happy life.

My partner and I have been together for 11, happy, monogamous years are we are as woven into the fabric of our small town, as any other couple . If we were 10 years younger we would have adopted, as there are many same couple couples in our town with kids, and they are viewed the same as any other family [[as it should be). Our daily concerns have far more to do with taxes, gas prices, equality etc., than what is all the rage in fashion, or where the next circuit party is.

These people who claim that they have to live a "gay lifestyle" because they are gay, or straight people who think that we are all deviants, are beyond sad.

Ken

**1KielsonDrive** · March-18-11, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by krapug1

Whenever I hear someone say that they have it live a "gay lifestyle", because they are homosexual,
I pity them, and then some.

Clearly people like this are lost souls, who for whatever reason are hanging around with the wrong crowd, and becoming a closet heterosexual is not the answer to a happy life.

My partner and I have been together for 11, happy, monogamous years are we are as woven into the fabric of our small town, as any other couple . If we were 10 years younger we would have adopted, as there are many same couple couples in our town with kids, and they are viewed the same as any other family [[as it should be). Our daily concerns have far more to do with taxes, gas prices, equality etc., than what is all the rage in fashion, or where the next circuit party is.

These people who claim that they have to live a "gay lifestyle" because they are gay, or straight people who think that we are all deviants, are beyond sad.

Ken

What's wrong with living the 'Gay Lifestyle'? You choose, or so it sounds, to live a middle class lifestyle, without much indication that you're in a homosexual relationship. At least I interpret from your post that you're in a homosexual relationship. Regardless, a person's lifestyle is their business if it doesn't impact others, even if they flaunt it. Most people who're bothered by the homosexual or 'Gay Lifestyle' are most likely too busy with other's business and paranoid about what someone else is doing. I get really upset seeing heterosexuals holding hands in public. It also really bothers me that they might be engaging in heterosexual sex acts behind closed doors. Uggggghhhh - terrible thought - flaunting their sexual orientation.