Dissing the D, Part 1

[begingri]

Minneapolis sports writer rips Detroit

BY MIKE THOMPSON
FREE PRESS CARTOONIST


No city gets dissed more than Detroit. And while I enjoy a good insult as much as the next guy, or as much as the next guy should be thick-skinned enough to enjoy, the key word here is “good” – as in clever, or witty. I’ve noticed over the years that most of the verbal bricks hurled at the D are downright lame. So I figured that I’d begin rating these insults as they popped up on the basis of their originality and cleverness with my very own “D diss-o-meter.”

The latest D diss came to my attention via Free Press sports writer Steve Schrader’s Monday column that included a real gem from the Minneapolis Star Tribune’s Jim Souhan. Souhan, grousing about the Vikings second trip to Motown in recent weeks, quipped on his blog: "Two trips to Detroit in a month. I forget, is that the second or third ring of Hell?" The Vikings played here this past Sunday and also in December when the roof of their stadium collapsed.

If structures in your city are in such bad shape that you need to come to Detroit, you probably shouldn’t be throwing stones. And people who live in stadiums with glass ceilings shouldn’t throw…never mind. Besides, I grew up in Minneapolis and visit there often, so I can say with authority that hell is listening to music on Minneapolis radio stations – all of which seem permanently stuck in 1985.

The literary work Souhan is attempting to reference is Dante Alighieri’s “Divine Comedy” in which hell is depicted as a series of nine circles; each reserved for souls damned for various sins such as murder or heresy. That’s circles of hell, not rings.

At any rate, according to the website danteworlds.laits.utexas.edu, the second circle of hell is where unrepentant sinners guilty of carnal lust are doomed to spend eternity. So Souhan’s comparison of Detroit to the second circle of hell makes no sense, as Kwame Kilpatrick is no longer mayor. Although the rest of us here in Detroit have certainly been put through hell thanks to Kwame.

Dante’s third circle of hell is the final stop for those souls guilty of gluttony. Considering the state of our economy here, Motown ain’t exactly synonymous with gluttony and excess. It’s kinda hard to be gluttonous when the unemployment checks stopped arriving months ago.

In short this D diss falls short. It doesn’t even make sense.

D diss-o-meter rating: 1
[[On a scale of one to 10)

If you come across a D diss, forward it to me at: mthompson600@freepress.com



Source: http://www.freep.com/article/2011010...r-rips-Detroit

[begingri]

Maxim magazine rips Detroit

BY MIKE THOMPSON
FREE PRESS CARTOONIST

Today’s D diss comes compliments of Maxim magazine’s January 2011 issue which features a story on thug NBA star Ron Artest. The magazine included a list of “Five reasons you should love Ron Artest.” Here’s their No. 4 reason:

“Honestly, who hasn’t wanted to punch the [[expletive) out of some [[expletive) from Detroit? Punching out [[expletive) from Detroit is the principal pastime there.”

If you’re unfamiliar with Maxim magazine, think of that guy you know who tries too hard to be cool. Yeah, that guy. Everyone knows that guy. Well, Maxim magazine is that guy.

A couple of points in response to Maxim’s D diss:

-The infamous fight Artest was involved in didn’t take place in Detroit, as Maxim suggests. It happened at the Palace of Auburn Hills, which is more than 30 miles from downtown Detroit – a distance that would take you at least an hour to drive on a Pistons game night. It isn’t even in the same county as Detroit. And the five fans who were formally charged in the brawl weren’t even from Detroit.

-“Punch out”? Who says that anymore? I mean, besides that character named Link with the giant afro in “Mod Squad” reruns. “I’m the fuzz. Stay groovy, man, or I’ll punch you out, dig?”

-According to the prevailing national media gross stereotype, all differences here in Detroit, even the most trivial, are settled with guns, not fists. Please try to get your overgeneralizations straight, Maxim.

This diss reminds me of those comedian-wannabes you hear on an open-mike night who think that the more expletives they hurl the funnier they are. Sorry, content is still king. If you’re going to insult us, try to be funny … or at least creative. Dig, man?

D diss-o-meter rating: [[expletive)
[[On a scale of one to 10)






Source: http://www.freep.com/article/2011010...e-rips-Detroit

[DetroitDad]

Kicking them while they're down....?

[goobercarter]

Love the articles! I have to agree with everything he is saying [[and not just because I live in Detroit)! If you're going to talk smack, at least be clever!

[Gistok]

Umm Dante aside.... wouldn't the experience of spending a winter in Minneapolis be akin to "Hell Freezing Over"?

[Gannon]

Gistok,

The natives there have developed a complex series of human habitrail tubes linking all the important buildings so they don't have to suffer winter. They are either very evolved, or very large rodents.

My ex-wife was from there, and DID have some odd cravings...so I'd vote the latter. Rodents, but mostly very nice ones. Stepford Rodents.

So much for the Ford/Lions operation's willingness to accommodate their ViQueens in their homelessness, as she always used to call them.



Cheers!