Nightmare and the Detroit Connection, Tponetom

[tponetom]

THE NIGHTMARE
October 1, 2006.
3:00 am
We were in bed, sound asleep. The day before had been nondescript. Nothing spectacular, nothing exerting. Just a pleasant day of experiencing the promise of cooling temperatures in the near future.
I sleep easily and well, but not for very long, at a time. I am a charter member of the BPH Club. I have, for over 20 years, conscientiously observed and complied with the demands of said Club.
All of you men know that BPH stands for, ‘Benign Prostate Hyperplasia,’ and you know what it is. 90 to 95 % of all men will join the Club sooner or later.
I will not go into detail. There are ladies present.
The NIGHTMARE is not a comedy.
If Peggy, in her sleep, moves the wrong way, breathes the wrong way, makes any kind of untoward sound, I am awake and alert. I have nursed her through thirteen surgical recoveries. [[For some reason or other, she has bad dreams.)
O. K., that is a little bit of background.
On this particular night, she awakened in a frenzy of panic! Her entire body, including arms and legs, was covered with RED Striations. Streaks if you will. Every part of her was itching including the very top of her head and the soles of her feet.
My mind was blank for the first twenty minutes or so. Then I remembered something about a “corn starch bath� or an “oatmeal bath,� to relieve itching.
After getting her in the tub and scooping the water constantly over her body, it took an hour and a half for the itch to subside.
We got through the rest of the night. The next day there were two more sporadic episodes on her back and legs. I had two tubes of Cortizone [[outdated by two years) but it relived the itching within two or three minutes.
We got to our Doctor the next day. He said he just did not know what, why, when or how the itch developed. He referred us to an Allergist. The Allergist examined her and listened to us and then he said it was definitely NOT an allergy. He referred us to our Dermatologist. The Dermatologist was no more helpful either. He just said it was a “skin condition.� He prescribed Betamethazone, a Corticosteroid for itching,
The diagnoses/speculations of the three physicians were unanimous. “Yes, she has an itch. No, we do not know what is causing it. No, we do not know how to cure it.
Early on we discovered that Jergens Lotion was the treatment of choice. It took only 3 to 5 minutes to stop the itching. Keeping the skin ‘moist’ was the only preventive.
Fast forward to June 2007. For nine months we were ‘housebound.’ There was no place we could go without the fear of another episode. I spent most of my time on the computer, searching, searching and more searching for some new and effective information about curing an itch. Nothing, nada, zip.
A few years earlier, I had accessed The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit. I could immediately identify with most of those sad sites. But for whatever reason or not, I never paid any attention to the Detroit Forum link. I did not associate it with the living, breathing, self sustaining entity of communication, that it was and still is. So I began to read some of the posts. I smiled, I frowned, I laughed, I ignored, but mostly I was impressed with the dedication of most of the members.
I told Peggy about the Forum. She listened to me read some of the posts. We realized, immediately, that most of the members were of a younger generation. There was little or no mention of the Thirties, Forties or Fifties, and even little of the Sixties.
It was Peggy who said, “Well, why don’t you send in some of your stories about the old neighborhood?� I snickered my ‘good nature’ snicker.
I told her that I did not think my ‘stories’ about kids kneeling on both knees for hours at a time, shooting ‘agates’ [[marbles) in the dirt or about kids dragging a wagon through the alleys looking for the treasure that would manifest itself in the form of an empty pop bottle that could be redeemed for two cents at the corner grocery store, would not exactly thrill them. [[Finding that pop bottle would be like winning the “Lotto� today.)
Her enthusiasm always trumps my negativism, so I joined the Forum and posted some memories. The response was amazing! Peggy snickered her “I told you so� snicker.
That was only the beginning. Along with the omnipresent ‘itch’ she developed a lower back problem. It was deja vu all over again. Doctor, Chiropractor. X-rays, etc.
The itch and the back problems are kid stuff. Dementia is the sad, silent footstep, creeping behind us and eventually overtaking us and covering us with a cloud of obscurity.
I am sure that some of the older members of this Forum are beginning their apprenticeship in this insidious and irrepressible condition. [[Did you forget your car keys?)
O. K. Enough of the gloom and doom. Her condition still exists, BUT, the itch has abated since last December 1. The ‘back’ problem still keeps her in the house.
The bright spot of all this rhetoric is this.
Our one source of daily entertainment has been, for the past two years, this Forum.
Mostly, I read to her the stories I have posted and then the comments that they may have evoked. She has read everything I have written over the years but her memory has dimmed.
So, when I read to her, it usually triggers her memory and her face lights up when I read a favorable comment and it is such a treasure to see her smile.

A few mundane thoughts. It isn’t bad enough that I got the new Vista O. S, with the black keyboard with white numbers that keeps reflecting a ‘shine’ when I turn a light on, or the fact that after using a computer for 12 years or so, whenever I type the personal pronoun “I� i wind up with a lower case i instead of I, because the “shift� keys that used to be in the extreme lower corners of the keyboard are no longer there, no, that was not enough, i had to go out and buy a “CELL PHONE.�
In the immortal words of Butterfly McQueen, I paraphrase:
I DON’T KNOW NUTHIN’ ‘BOUT NO CELL PHONES, NO VISTA OR SHIFT KEY STUFF.
[[I am using a cuticle stick to punch the numbers on the keyboard.)

In conclusion, things are looking brighter.

By the way, What is a "tag?"

[eriedearie]

Oh Tp you've done it again! I simply loved this piece to pieces! I was sorry when it ended. I know all good things must come to an end but I get this sense of wonderment whenever I see a new post by you. Ooooo I wonder..."What is he writing about today?" I have to click right away and can't hardly wait to begin reading. I devour every word as quickly as I can. Then I'm dissappointed in myself for reading it so fast! So I go over your story again several times, much slower and take in every word.

I'm glad Peggy's itch has been in remission for a while now. I know how terrible it is to have that kind of itching. And I'm also glad that the two of you share in the enjoyment of this forum. You two love birds are helping one another in so many ways by keeping your mind as sharp as possible in learning new things. With you reading to Peggy about your memories and that spurs her on to remember things - that's a very good thing. Keep it up!

One day I will post a story about Mr. Erie's nocturnal itching episode! It's a doozy!

Hi Peggy!

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[Ray1936]

"By the way, what is a "Tag"?

It's a game we used to play before 'puters and all this electronic jazz. Someone was "it", and had to "Tag" someone else so he/she was no longer "it". Being "it" was a curse. Not being "it" meant you could just run with the wind and not have to chase anybody.

Wonder how many of the younger dy'rs never played Tag????

No itch problem here, Tp. Just Marge's diabetes which is pretty much under control. I think I'll take her out to the casino this afternoon to blow a hundred bucks of the kids' inheritance.

[eriedearie]

P.S. From clicking on it - which I never noticed before - the tag appears to be a list of the most popular threads on the forum. At least that's what I get out of it. Perhaps Lowell will chime in or someone who uses that feature....

And Ray is right too! - BTW Ray, my 8 year old grandson and his friends play tag. So it still is a pretty popular kid's game!

Good luck at the casino!

[gazhekwe]

Hi, Tom. I am really glad you are sharing these times with us. We are a generation behind you on the path, but dealing with many of our elders. It is heartening to see the courage and the joy as you and Peggy approach each days.

And oh, yes, the stories of the past are wonderful. It really reflects back to a time when we, as children, watched the days at our grandparents houses in the old neighborhoods, then went home to our new neighborhoods. My grandparents on Leslie had their milk and ice delivered and their scrap picked up by horsedrawn wagons. We had an ice truck in our neighborhood, even though most people probably had refrigerators by then. Imagine my surprise, moving down to the Cass Corridor, to find the very same scrap man with his horsedrawn wagon still working the alleys in the neighborhoods down there. Well, it was probably only 10-15 years later, but still...

[DetroitTeacher]

Tp [[and Peggy): I hope that, when I get "older" that I can look back on fond memories as you do...soda pop bottles, wagons in the alley, etc. I really enjoy reading your stories. My grandmother passed away 3 years ago...I miss her and her stories [[yours are similar in nature to hers). Thanks for sharing with us...

[reddog289]

Tp, Your stories make me miss living with my folks. My Dad is a member of the BPH club. He teases me says " Son you will be like me one day, Up all night goin to the can, AND NOT FROM DRINKING BEER". I love all the stories my folks and others have told me of Detroit and its neighboring cities. Great thing this internet.

[Stosh]

"By the way, what is a "Tag"?

Tags are like keywords. By including the tags in a thread, people can find the subject they are looking for easier. You can search for tags on this site, under the search arrow, "Search by tags".

I included a couple for this thread below.

[Bobl]

I cannot stay away from this forum. It is necessary to look for posts from tponetom, and read of the lives shared by an inspirational couple.
I wish that I was a neighbor, and could help with a smile, a nod, and maybe a shopping errand from time to time. So, I have decided to "adopt" an elderly neighbor who lives down the street. I knew her husband, who died nearly thirty years ago. Asked yesterday if she needs any help: "No, thank you, dear, my sons live nearby."
This morning, as I took my daily walk, she was at the door, smiling and waving. Never saw her at the door before. Aha! It appears that a connection has been made. I will be here, and she knows it.
Thanks, Tom & Peggy......

[eriedearie]

"I will be here, and she knows it."

Oh Bobl that is so nice of you with your neighbor! That is the pay it forward deal at its best.

[Kelton]

Tom,
I want to add my praises to all the others you've received on this thread. Your stories of the adventures of Peggy and you are so much fun to read.

The most important thing you have done is to keep your sense of humor through the "downs" which is sometimes difficult to do as our bodies begin to fail us.

My mother is almost 94 [[!!!) with some dementia but otherwise excellent health. Her biggest problem though is that she has become belligerent, angry and rude to us when we try to help her with the things she is no longer able to do, such as get rid of rotting food in her refrigerator - we are "meddling" in her life! The doctor says this is to hide her embarrassment over being unable to take care of herself in some ways. She cannot accept that she has lost some of her abilities to function on her own.

My husband always shoveled our elderly neighbor's sidewalk and I used to take big salads over to him after his wife died. His daughter would tell me how grateful they were because it was the only fresh vegetables he ever ate. I guess I was paying it forward as you said Eriedearie, because now my mother's neighbors pick up groceries for her and keep an eye on her and call me if there's a problem.

Looking forward to more Tom and Peggy stories.

[East Detroit]

Whew...

No offense, but when I read the BPH I looked that up, then I saw NIGHTMARE and a rash/itch.... so, I thought uh oh, he peed on her. Darn, I know people will take that wrong, but it was just what I thought. C'mon, you can admit that was funny without thinking its malicious.

Anyway, another enjoyable story, thanks!!

[Bobl]

Kelton:
I am not a health care practitioner, and this is purely anecdotal:
My father, who passed at the age of 94 last autumn, showed some improvement with the gradual onslaught of dementia when he was prescribed Aricept by his physician.
We had a great, informative conversation the day before he left us...

[tponetom]

East Detroit: Believe this from the bottom of my heart. If we cannot inject and then sustain 'humor' in any way, shape or form, in our problems, then life would be very rueful.

BobI: Aricept has been on the market for awhile. It is hawked as, not a cure or improvement, but rather as a 'slowing down' of the progress of Dementia. But there are so many variables. Our Doctor did not endorse it because he did not have enough certified data saying that it was indeed helpful. As with all medicines, it depends on the individual patient.

Kelton: Yes, humor is mandatory. Your mother's belligerence, anger and rudeness are classic symptoms of dementia, but if she is still functioning well enough, at the age of 94, Hooray for her!

Reddog289: Now this is NO joke. If yourDad is taking 'Proscar" [[generic name Finasteride) for his BPH, he might discover, as I personnally did, he may grow some new hair in his "widows peak" just above his forehead. I have seven pitch black hairs in that area that were never there before.
My wife is enthralled,
No more bald.

Stosh: Thank you for the 'tag' thing information. I am not to swift on this computer jazz.

Ray: Are there any special rules for that 'game' your were describing? [[Notice that I give you the 'color purple' for the status of pontification.

Gaz: The post that you offered in my previous post, "Paging gazhekwe" said it all. We have to treat dementia with humor because the alternative is,,,despair.

eriedearie: I am going to appoint you as, "Chairlady of the Board of Directors," for my non-profit, Corporation For the Preservation of Old Things and Tponetom."
I was going to add Ray's name, but he is still not qualified for the really old things.

Detroit teacher: It really is a generational thing.

On the subject of humor: A Re-run. Some of you may recall it from a previous post. My mother died in 1990 at the age of 87.

She was laid out in the Funeral Home on April 1.
. My first appearance there found my younger sister, Kathy, standing by the casket, dabbing at her eyes. I walked up to her. I put my arm around her shoulder to console her. And then, in a LOUD voice I said: "You know Kathy, I would not be surprised if Ma sat up in that casket, and yelled, APRIL FOOL, EVERYONE!"
It set the tone for the rest of the funeral. My mother was a corker and we all revered her.

[Ray1936]

Tp: Here are the rules for Tag.

Rule 1: You are either it or you are not it.
Rule 2: If you are neither of the above, no rules apply to you.
Rule 3: There are no other rules.

That said, I had a nice discovery today. My brother came up from Tonopah, NV [[where? Tonopah, NV. It's not the end of the world but you can see it from there.) He brought along some papers he found that he thought I might like to have. Among them was a three page letter written by our beloved grandmother; the envelope postmarked September 27, 1966. The letter chit chats about some family matters, and goes on to mention that she is not very well, and apologizes for her shaky writing [[it's actually quite clear).

I'm preserving that letter in plastic. She died ten days later, age 88, in Indianapolis. Reading her last letter brought forth a surge of memories.

[reddog289]

Tp, I will have to find out what my Dad is on. I know a few years back he had to have the seed treatment so therefore he might have let his BPH dues lapse. All I know is him and my Mom tell me his doughnut is ok now. But between my folks I need a scorecard with the two, then add my "wifes" folks problems, WHEW. My Dad was right when he said "It's HELL to get old", But then says " At least I got there".