Universal Truths--to make everyone smile...

[LodgeDodger]

A friend sent this to me. Enjoy! Number three is my personal favorite.

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5 How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.. .again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring [[Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

[Sstashmoo]

Those are great, "Bad decisions make good stories" is the best.

[Neilr]

Thanks. You've done your work for the day, and done it well. Feel free to go take your first nap of the morning.

[Gannon]

Beautiful!

[jcole]

This is the best list like this that I've ever read. Fully updated for today.
#26 is so true.

[rb336]

My personal favorite was #3. Naps are now in my top 5 inventions of all time.

I know how to fold a fitted sheet, btw., but i'm not telling

[Jimaz]

That was so funny I had to go Googling for the source. It allegedly came from Ruminations.com. There are more funny observations at the link.

[maxx]

" Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever."

That's just wishful thinking.

[LodgeDodger]

I'm glad you're enjoying them. I've just posted my all-time favorite email in another thread. I"m retiring in three days and am cleaning files.

[firstandten]

That is great, I love the list.

I love #8

Can you see all the folks going just crazy if they REALLY knew how there loved one died.

[Gistok]

Thanks for the great stuff Lodgedodger... here's a few to add to the list...

33. Barkers Law: "Murphy was an optimist".

34. Imagine your Deja Vu.... when seeing The Drew Carey Show when Oswald mentioned that his parents took his dog to the farm for its' retirement when it got too old.

35. When/if you go to Heaven after you've passed on... you'll be greeted by all your loved ones and St. Peter with a movie projector showing everyone the naughty and embarrassing side of "This was your life".

[Roq]

A friend sent this to me. Enjoy! Number three is my personal favorite.

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

This list made me laugh because so much of it hits home, esp. #22! [[and I'll always be saying to myself, "Why don't I just make two trips??")

The one about drivers banding together is spot on as well.

Thanks LD!

[3WC]

It's hard for me to imagine how upset I'd be to experience #2.

[313WX]

I can relate to #15 the most.

I'm like "couldn't you had just stay on the line for one more millisecond!?"

I would especially be pissed if it was for a job offer, because after you mis that first call you might as well forget that position and move on,