Suburban Legends

[smudge pot]

Be kind, this is my first thread. We're always hearing about the enriching, gritty, edgy atmosphere of the urban experience. What about suburbia? A mere vacuum? I'll toss out these tidbits, and let's see where this goes.

We'll start with a classic. One of my classmates in the seventh grade shared an eye-witness account of the day when the cops pulled-up in several cars and patiently talked a sh*t-faced Johnny Ginger down from the roof of his house, in broad daylight, no less.

Not bad? Quit while you're ahead? Nope. My buddies used to cruise around the dirt roads in a beat-up old 1962 Impala, and, after finishing-off a few twelve-packs, would pull-up in front of the pastoral estate of one Dominic "Fats" Corrado, and generously piss on his front gate.

Before we moved into our new house, Bob Seger dated one of the daughters who lived there, and did a few "sleepovers". OK, maybe this is starting to suck ... A little help?

[gazhekwe]

Emmanuel Stewart used to live across the street from me, but moved out in the late 80s after a fired damaged the house. It stood empty for some time, and seems to suffer periodic owner trades and long periods of vacancy. The most recent owner filled in the indoor swimming pool.

[dtowncitylover]

My aunt [[yes Katheen if you see this, that one) dated Glenn Fry of The Eagles. He went to Dondero and she went to Shrine.

[Django]

An old friend of mine from Bloomfield Hills tomatoed Sam Bernsteins car, Sam saw him do it but with some quick thinking and lying got away with it.

We used to drive around Hartland in an old Comet, pulling up to the garbage cans on wheeles, passenger leaning out the window would drag garbage can down the street to about 40 mph and let them go into mailboxes and other objects in our way. Laughter laughter laughter.

This is pointless, I could go on an on. Still looking forward to whats going to pop up from you all though.

Karma has had its way with me to say the least.

[Gannon]

Going with the Sam Bernstein bit...I was being rushed to finish a service call at a client's out near Wabeek, a doctor who used to run the clinic down at the Boulevard and Vernor Highway next to that Murray's/O'briens car parts joint...when just as I opened the front door, who was coming to dinner at my doctor client's home?

Sam Bernstein and his wife, apparently lifelong friends of this doc, who had the best insurance against malpractice suits EVER in this city!


One time while leaving a high-end client's house, again on a service call, I almost ran over a jogging Isaiah Thomas, smack in the middle of Vaughn Road past a wee crest of a hill. He was as shocked as me, and once he gave me that grin, I knew everything was cool.


A decade earlier, when Doctor Kevorkian was in the middle of his crusade, he walked right in front of me in traffic on Old Woodward...and I had a split second to decide whether to retire HIM early. Knew it could be a few moments of infamy on the news, the irony might've carried all the way to late-night comedic monologues, but alas I couldn't bring myself to his level. Ahem.

Had some really great times at Lomas Brown's house, for a few years I was the token white boy and escort to the games for his then-wife Delores. One of my gs and hs friends played on the team then as well, so any of the players I met were super cool. That whole thing could be turned into a book.

Best one was watching Barry take his first handoff, run a good distance, forcing one of the veterans to stand up and holler to the family section, "Now the motherfucker is gonna want a raise!" To much laughter.


Contrast that with sitting in the family section when Mike Utley was injured, everyone knowing it could've been their man down...the stadium was filled, but you could hear a pin drop for the twenty or so minutes until they got the ambulance onto the field. Tension so thick you could cut it. Probably my single worst group moment ever.


Curious thread.

[econ expat]

I owned a restaurant in Farmington Hills, by West Bloomfield. Lots of 'local celebrity' power brunches there.

My cook was frustrated, a breakfast was sent back 3 times, cook the eggs more, crisper bacon, more well done potatos, etc.
He yelled out at the waitress "Do they want all their food cremated?"
We could hear him in other parts of the restaurant.
Oh Oh, smirks from the crowd....

The customer- [[former)Doctor Kevorkian

[Mikeg]

I once witnessed a guy who had just robbed a party store make a series of really dumb mistakes during his getaway.

He was obviously not familiar with the streets in our small suburb of Detroit and he was unsure of which way to turn while making his escape - then again, that police car chasing him with lights and siren might have been a bit distracting. At one point he made a fateful decision to turn left instead of right and quickly spotted two more police cars coming toward him. Their sudden presence convinced him to make a hurried U-turn, but he hit the curb and stalled his car in the process.

Grabbing a paper bag from the seat, he jumped out of his car, ran up the sidewalk leading to the nearest building and just as he reached the front door, he realized it was a police station!

By now, the original police cruiser had jumped the curb and was driving over the police station lawn straight toward him, so he decided instead to run around the outside of the building and down a side street. While rounding the corner of the building, his paper bag caught on the shrubbery and money started flying through the air. As he flailed at the fluttering money, it kind of appeared like he was reaching for a weapon inside his coat, so the pursuing police exited their cars and shouted for him to put his hands up, but when he started running again they opened fire.

The sound of hot lead whizzing past his ears finally convinced him to stop and surrender, unharmed. However, the hood of a nearby resident's VW wasn't so lucky!

All of this took place while we were stuck in the left turn lane in front of the police station for three signal cycles as the responding police cars tied up the intersection while exiting the station and then again while doubling back to assist the pursuing officer.

[Detroitej72]

Wow, all these interesting stories, and all I can add was that I once was jumped and given a beat down in the wonderful city of Warren!

[smudge pot]

Wow, all these interesting stories, and all I can add was that I once was jumped and given a beat down in the wonderful city of Warren!

Join the club, I've had my ass beat all over the place, from Plymouth to Rochester, and everywhere in-between. Man, I miss those days ... Once, this hillbilly chick in this park nearly took me down, and she was two years older than me [[and very cute, I might add), and I had all I could do to scramble out of it, and pin her down, and salvage what little was left of my pride.

They say everyone eventually meets their soul-mate. This chick was pushing all my buttons, but I was too busy getting my ass whipped to notice.

[Detroitej72]

They say everyone eventually meets their soul-mate. This chick was pushing all my buttons, but I was too busy getting my ass whipped to notice.

I hope you got her number, or at least copt a feel!!!

Lol!

[ASR89]

Although not a suburb, I was in Ann Arbor a few months ago. Around the U of M campus town, there is an arcade called Pinball Pete's. I was hanging out and started playing a game of skee ball [[the game where you throw the balls down a lane, up ramps and into holes). Whilst in the middle of a game, a guy came up and started playing next to me. I looked over and noticed that he was doing really well. So I turned to him and told him that he was really good.

That's when I noticed it was BILL MURRAY. We ended up hitting it off. We played a few games of pool and it turned out he was really good at pool too. After he beat me best 3 out of 5, I exclaimed something like, "Wow. I can't believe I met Bill freakin' Murray here of all places!" He chuckled and said, "Nobody will ever believe you." He then turned and walked away.

[RickBeall]

I don't believe you! ;-)

[Motown Madman]

Yeah, the suburbs can be quite edgy.
You never know what will happen when kids go loose in their isolated little subdivisions.

[WaCoTS]

hmm.

the old "Northville Tunnels" was quite the interesting place for a couple decades, for those who remember it:

www.wacots.org

[Bearinabox]

Never seen 'em myself, but I've heard their live shows are pretty cool.

[reddog289]

One place that I never wanted to go was the Northville Tunnels. I would have gone on a dare, I made it down Denton Rd out in Canton many of times with only one "scare". But them tunnels gave me the creaps hearing about them.
Same as the Eloise Tunnels.

[casscorridor]

all the scariest moment of the life, the moments when i was most scared, where in the suburbs. I have lived Detroit city for 2 years, before that i lived in the burbs for 18.