Do Women Slam Car Doors More Than Men?

[mam2009]

I don't know if this is the kind of topic that is typically discussed on DY. I normally stick to the Discuss Detroit thread, but this has been bugging me lately.

I am a woman and my male friend continually complains about me slamming his car door. Is this a common issue for men and women? I ask this because his insistence that I "slam" his door made me actually go online to see if I might have some sort of deep seated anger that makes me take it out on his door. Do you know that when I typed "why can't I stop slamming car doors" in the search box, I actually came across a devotional [[it was the first search result ) about a woman asking God to help her stop slamming her boyfriend's door?! While I did appreciate it and will try to take it to heart, I swear that I am not putting forth enough effort to "slam" his door. In fact, today I only used two fingers to close the door because I had something else in my hand preventing me from using all of my fingers in the effort. Its not like he's driving a hoopty. Its a 2009 solidly built full size SUV.

I swear that I try to be mindful of not slamming the door, but I've been closing doors with the same amount of force all of my life and I've never been accused of slamming a door. Keep in mind that I've also been getting in and out of cars with my friend for over a decade now with no complaint until the last 6 months or so.

In my online search I also found other inquiries from women about slamming car doors of the men in their lives, so that got me to wondering if this is a man-woman issue and, if so, why are men so sensitive to car door "slamming" and why do we do it? Is there a physiological explanation, are we just being insensitive to the anti-car door-slamming men, what is it?

[DetroitPlanner]

Tell him if he was a real man he would open and shut the car door for you!

[sumas]

Was your friend in the military? My Dad was all ways yelling about car doors slamming or pots and pans rattling. He was in WWII and we figured loud noises still rattled him even if it wasn't loud to us.

[Johnnny5]

Tell him to quit bitching! You're not hurting anything by closing the door forcefully [[especially if it's all in his head).

[Sstashmoo]

Leave it on half latch so the "door ajar" light is continually on.. If he still whines about it, tell him to close it himself, or buy a car that isn't like a tin can.

[turkeycall]

My wife isn't so bad about the doors but she has a terrible time dealing with glove box and dash-top storage doors.

We have a Chevy HHR and it has a dash-top storage compartment. She really slams that thing hard when she closes it. It just doesn't require a slam to close it. All that needs to be done is too gently push it closed until it clicks the latch.

I don't get it. Maybe sha has some deep-seated feelings of frustration with me and this is how she expresses it.

[DetroitPlanner]

We have a Chevy HHR and it has a dash-top storage compartment. She really slams that thing hard when she closes it. It just doesn't require a slam to close it. All that needs to be done is too gently push it closed until it clicks the latch.

On another thread you're complaining that your GM pension was cut, but you're driving a car that is made in Mexico out of mostly Mexican parts? I did not buy an HHR expressly because it was not supporting jobs in the Midwest. Maybe I should re-think my policy. If here we have pensioners who don't care, why should I?

[gnome]

whoa, before that bitch slap lands and explodes ... I'll add on the "Slaming" topic. Is the bf finding other little faults? Like the way you sort your silverware, load the dishwasher, change lanes? If so there may be something else going on. If he is not your boyfriend but rather just a friend, maybe he is looking to change that status one way or another.

Another idea might be unconnected to aggression, but rather the type of car you drive. For example if you drive a Mercedes, BMW or a '78 Mercury, you might be accustomed to using a heavy arm in closing those doors; whereas the new chevy doors are tuned for ez effort. Keep in mind, the majority of SUV buyers are women, engineers are more attentive women's needs like step-in height, seat positions, and maybe, the amount of force needed to shut the door.

So maybe your muscle memory is geared for a heavy door... but of course since I don't know what kind of car you drive, your relationship status with Mr. Lightcloser, my speculation is just that.

[gazhekwe]

Do you close it the same as you close your own car doors? One time my boss took me to task for slamming his car door. He had a big sport utility. I drove a van at the time and I think it took a bit more force to close the door from inside. When I automatically closed his door the same way he took exception. It was just habit. I wasn't mad and I liked the man.

I see Gnome made the same point about habit.

[Sstashmoo]

The crux of this issue if one wants to classify it that is human strength. Men are stronger and can control heavy objects much better. Women have to rely on inertia to move heavy objects. Mass/speed to insure the latch closes, which results in an impact [[slam).

[rb336]

so men have the strength to be more gentle?

[Gannon]

Mam2009,

While I applaud your initial effort was to check yourself to see if there is any personal improvement necessary, in this case I fully believe you are not even NEAR at fault.


It is likely you will never please this person, so as the poster said above you should let them open and close the door for you. If they take too long, just open it and get out, and let them close it their way instead.


I have a friend who babies his vehicles as if they are going to last forever. He is out there spit-polishing them both all the time, he'll be the one passing you on the Jefferies freeway looking like he just left the new car lot.


He is obsessed.


That obsession somehow yields odd wee whiplashes from any available source in the universe. Occasionally it is from me. When I exit his car, the door sometimes crashes closed WAY harder than I could ever push it, and he gets inflamed every time. I know how hard I pushed it, but his worry over damage to anything and everything seems to 'draw' these negative events to him often.



So, as I did...thanks for checking yourself, it is probably your addictive, over-bearing, perfect-shell of a friend who is causing his own aggravation.


Cheers!

[mam2009]

You all are funny! Yes, he is my "boy"friend [[I feel a little old to be calling him that). He IS a little picky about how things are done in general but fortunately that just leads him to do mostly everything himself which is perfectly fine by me. So he can control away in his house, but in my house my way is my way. No, he wasn't in the military [[although, sometimes I think he acts like it) and I don't think he's suffering from any other PTSD issues that would make him particularly sensistive to sound.

I'm thinking that this car is just newer [[although he drove the same model several years ago) and perhaps the engineers redesigned it so that it doesn't require much effort to close once you give it an initial nudge, but that's just it. It literally only takes a nudge to get it going -- a quick, firm nudge, but it feels completely unnatural to close a car door that way. I didn't try MY car [[a smaller SUV) this morning to see if I can just nudge it closed in a similar manner [[because, in general, one does not automatically pay attention to that kind of thing - you just do it), but I will try and if it works, I'll be able to employ the "nudge" technique on a more regular basis until my muscle memory readjusts and it feels more natural.

DetroitPlanner, I think you may be on to something though. This matter would be resolved if he just closed it himself. Is there still chivalry after you've been together off and on for a decade. Hmmmm! Maybe that IS my pent up aggression!

And before anybody goes there, I have no issue whatsoever with us not being married after such a long time. I've been there and done that and am in NO hurry to do it again.

[Jimaz]

I can't imagine how much force would be necessary to cause any harm.

[EMG]

I find it hard to believe that women would be more likely to slam car doors. Actually, I've never known a woman to slam one.

There is one woman in my workplace who always slams doors when entering or leaving rooms in the workplace - you can tell from across the floor when she's around! - but she is an isolated case, and I've worked with her long enough to know that it's not a matter of hostility, overt or latent. I figure she must be a cardiovascular dynamo who works out all the time and just underestimates her own strength.

[rb336]

I can't imagine how much force would be necessary to cause any harm.

depends on if you have a cartoon car or not. some of those fell apart at the touch of a feather

[Diehard]

This whole thing sounds like a "Seinfeld" episode.

[GOAT]

I have an idea? how about just not slamming the door and be done with it. Why the psychological analysis?

[eriedearie]

WOW Gannon! I didn't know you were friends with my dad! It doesn't matter which kind of vehicle he owns - he babies it. Mom says he'd bring it in the house if he could. He won't push a button to change the radio station because it might cause undue distress to the vehicle!

I don't slam a vehicle's door, but my sister-in-law uses such force in closing the door I'm afraid the window glass will shatter. So my husband will open and close her door for her.

[smudge pot]

Marry a redhead. Million-dollar pouts, door-slamming, it's all there.

[turkeycall]

DetroitPlanner,
Let's be clear on this. If you go back to my pension post [Connect], you will read that I clarified my question. I am a Delphi retiree. There's some confusion about our retirement staus among the GM/Delphi retirees. My pension is/was funded by Delphi.

Regarding the HHR: Yes, it is assembled in Mexico. However, the car has a Delphi computer [Indiana], Delphi heater and air conditioner [New York], Delphi fuel injectors [Michigan], Delphi catalytic converter [Wisconsin], Delphi water, steering, and oil pumps [Michigan] . . . all kinds of Delphi trinkets in this baby! The body was stamped out in a General Motors Metal Fab plant, the engine and transmission from GM Powertrain.

Delphi was paid for each and every component it provided. That's where pension money comes from. Okay?

[Ray1936]

I never gave the subject much thought. Guess I'll have to pay attention for a while and see how dear wife and I close the car doors. Off the top of my head, it seems more logical to give it a good swift slam so it is, indeed, latched, rather than a candy-assed wiffle that might leave it ajar.

[slick]

vehicle he owns - he babies it

I work with a guy - he will not use the power window, rather open the door to use the passkey to open the gate to work.
I think a vehicle should be worked hard, besides its an inanimate object.
in Detroit when we all parked on the street and every once in a while you nudge the car ahead or behind while parrallel parking I used to tell my neighbors, "Hey, why do you think they call them bumpers!"

[Gannon]

Another advocate of the 'parking by braille' method of parallel abuse!

Heh.


So why do you slow to less than 5 mph to park?! You could make a space with the right momentum and approach. All bumpers are rated to 5 mph, right? That gives you ten to work with...given the right vectors.


I just opened a used airbag store, Not Just Politics. This should be good for business.

[Jimaz]

Then there's the video of the little kid executing a near-perfect drifting park.