Get Rich Quick. Buy a Stone House in Detroit! Earn 300% in 5 Years!

[Lowell]

I found this pretty amusing. It seems someone has more optimism about Detroit than others.

Snips:

Forget The Doom And Gloom
About US Property... Discover How YOU Can
Buy Large Stone Houses In Detroit, USA

At 60%+ Below Market Value
And Guaranteed 20% NET Yields For 5

... and best of all? You will still own the property with large amounts of equity and also generating large passive rental income!

The 3 reasons why YOU can make over 300% profit in just 5 years with property in Detroit, USA, right now!

http://www.propertyhorizons.co.uk/us...FZJM5Qod4wm5Jw

[DetroitDad]

2.

President Obama Is Going To Help YOU!

The US government is pumping BILLIONS in to Detroit to help car manufacturers. This will also help regenerate with new infrastructure, businesses and public facilities.

-- Prices are already increasing rapidly as more investors realise what an incredible opportunity Detroit is right now.

Help regenerate? Help regenerate what? What does that mean?

[Fury13]

Help regenerate? Help regenerate what? What does that mean?

That's a typo. It meant to say degenerates. It will help degenerates.

[Lowell]

I have heard buzz/rumors of foreign investors picking up properties in Detroit. I am wondering if this British company has actually done that or if they have a brokering relationship with some local real estate company.

However it does point out that in every product there is a price tipping point where something falls so low it becomes irresistible.

The use of the word "guaranteed" caught my eye the most. Obviously this group is not aware of truth in advertising laws, thinks that the international separation gives them cover or has a lot of fine print saying guaranteed means something else.

[Pam]

What do they mean by "large stone houses"?

[Gannon]

That's a typo. It meant to say stoneR. Invest in degenerate stoner's houses.

[Retroit]

-- Just Like Donald Trump Is RIGHT NOW!


Would someone please inform Donald Trump that his lawn needs to be mowed?

[Melocoton]

My parents get emails like this from real estate agencies in France and the UK and send me the Detroit ones all the time [[there are a lot). One recent ad was for a September tour of Detroit for British "investors," and it included scheduled meetings this month with representative of Home Depot and the City of Detroit "Housing and Urban Development" department [[that's a federal agency, as far as I know, but...) I was amazed the city thought it a good idea to schmooze with European speculators.

[Lorax]

I have some personal knowledge of this, there are alot of foreign investors who are buying up homes less than 25k in Detroit, hiring local "management" companies set up for the sole purpose of collecting rents [[section 8 mostly).

They are buying groupings of houses, sometimes 50-60 at a crack, and having local contractors repair them just enough to rent out. There are rarely permits pulled, and when caught for violations, they just pay the fine, which is often less than it would have cost to make the right repairs in the first place. That is, if they get caught at all.

The biggest downfall for the investor, is usually the supplies put into repairs are stripped out the same night, as soon as the contractors pull their vehichles away.

One investor told me he will eat this cost only once, if it happens again, he'll walk away and let the house rot. He'll keep paying the taxes, so in the end he'll still own the land, but unless he has a renter ready to move in right away, he can't afford to let it sit with new plumbing, etc. The neighbors are watching!

Often these investors don't realize there is no police protection for their properties, and often the people they rent to will strip the house soon after moving in. This is such a foreign concept to the Europeans, Japanese, and Australians who are typically the ones buying up these houses today.

Many do end up walking away from theses houses, not knowing what they are getting into. Even the so-called management companies are part and parcel to juicing the investors for repairs not made, and since most of them don't ever step foot in Detroit, they'll never know just what a trap they're stepping into.

Long distance slumlords- not something that benefits anyone.

[Jason]

I think that 300% in 5 years is very realistic. Buy the house for $1, and there's 5 years to con someone into buying it for $3.

[dtowncitylover]

How comical. Laughed all the way through this thread.

[EastSider]

I have some personal knowledge of this...

Don't you live in Florida?

[Pam]

What do they mean by "large stone houses"?

Maybe they meant this one?

http://www.detroit1701.org/G.A.R.Building.htm

[Ocean2026]

That ad would violate Deceptive Trade Practices Act in every state that I know of. They are guaranteeing a 20% net profit for 5 years!? Even if more people leave and rents go down? Even if strippers come in and remove all the copper? Someone in Michigan ought to turn them in.

[agirlintheD]

The strippers are removing the copper?

[Gannon]

Yeah, you know it's tight when the strippers have to scrap to get by, too.

[professorscott]

I agree with Dtown, this is a great thread. Best in a while. Laughed out loud, which the subdued Professor rarely does.

Curious about the claims that the advertisement violates some or another law. That matters? In a city where the vast majority of murders never get solved, we're going to put a policeman on the case of your deceptive advertisement? One doubts it.

I especially like the "buy for $1 - wait a few years - sell for $3". That would cause a naive person to suggest doing that a hundred thousand times at a crack, which of course leads to the same paradox as the idea that when Mega Millions has a jackpot of $200 million [[when there are less than 200 million possible combinations of numbers), why not just buy one ticket for each combination? [[If you don't know why that's not possible, come to my office at the University and I will explain it to you, speaking very slowly.)

[professorscott]

One more comment. Lorax wrote, speaking of international [["foreign" is so pejorative these days) investors, "Often these investors don't realize there is no police protection for their properties..."

Lorax, count New Yorkers among your international newbies here. Your Professor comes to Detroit from the wilds of New York, and never heard of a case in his entire life where a felony is committed and the police make absolutely no effort to investigate it. Came to Detroit, and it happened to me personally, twice. Absolutely fucking astonishing.

In Nueva York, if [[say) somebody breaks into your apartment and steals all your stuff, the local gendarmes at least pretend to be interested and to investigate the crime. I was stunned at the response I got the first time my car was stolen [[yep, kids, the first time), which can be summarized as: you expect us to do something about it? Then the first home invasion, second car theft, second home invasion, and so forth. [[Now, granted, the police did pretend to investigate the second home invasion; they felt sorry for Mr. and Mrs. Prof since it was our second home invasion in a six-week period.)

All I have ever seen of police, they're handing out traffic tickets. Not sure why to bother having a police department at all, if that's all they do. I can find people who'd be willing to give out traffic citations for a lot less than you have to pay a police officer. If there are any DPD on the blog, I'd be happy to hear rebuttals.

[Casual]

One more comment. Lorax wrote, speaking of international [["foreign" is so pejorative these days) investors, "Often these investors don't realize there is no police protection for their properties..."

Lorax, count New Yorkers among your international newbies here. Your Professor comes to Detroit from the wilds of New York, and never heard of a case in his entire life where a felony is committed and the police make absolutely no effort to investigate it. Came to Detroit, and it happened to me personally, twice. Absolutely fucking astonishing.

In Nueva York, if [[say) somebody breaks into your apartment and steals all your stuff, the local gendarmes at least pretend to be interested and to investigate the crime. I was stunned at the response I got the first time my car was stolen [[yep, kids, the first time), which can be summarized as: you expect us to do something about it? Then the first home invasion, second car theft, second home invasion, and so forth. [[Now, granted, the police did pretend to investigate the second home invasion; they felt sorry for Mr. and Mrs. Prof since it was our second home invasion in a six-week period.)

All I have ever seen of police, they're handing out traffic tickets. Not sure why to bother having a police department at all, if that's all they do. I can find people who'd be willing to give out traffic citations for a lot less than you have to pay a police officer. If there are any DPD on the blog, I'd be happy to hear rebuttals.

Wow! Reading your post made my heart ache for you and your wife. 2 home invasions?!!! I'd move out that same night. I'm happy you and yours are okay. Did they just kick the door in, or did they follow you in? If it's too personal you don't have to tell me.

[punky1]

Professor, this is from another thread "Detroit Police are big losers".

"I first spotted this thread a few days ago, and until now, I hadn't had time to give my 2 cents. So, as a Detroit Police Officer, let me offer you a glimpse into what I deal with on an almost daily basis, as well as some insight into why response times for certain crimes are slow.

As others have stated, 911 calls are given a rank of "priority," a word we've been advised not to use when talking with a complainant, because let's face it, nobody really cares to hear that their crime they were a victim of has a lower priority than somebody else.

A call comes into a 911 operator, the 911 operator then submits the police run to the appropriate police dispatcher. I'm not sure if 911, or our police dispatchers assign them their priority, but they are categorized at some point. From there, the runs are given out/volunteered. Once we are given a run, we are expected to be at the scene within 15 minutes. If not, then we have to have a reason why. One acceptable reason may be somebody ran a redlight in front of us, and we conducted a traffic stop. That is just one example, but for the most part, we arrive at scene within 5-10 minutes after we received the run. There is nothing we can do other than try to make a scene as soon as possible after receiving it.

Why the slow response times? Well, as I said, the runs are prioritized. An armed robbery, carjacking, person with a weapon, shots fired, Criminal Sexual Conduct, assault and battery in progress, and problem a dozen more runs out rank a breaking and entering just discovered. Often, when a house has been broke into, it happened while the home owner was away at work. While it would be nice for the police to arrive within minutes, those other runs out rank it.
My suggestion? Go into any police precinct, have a list of items that were taken, damage to the home, and how they seem to have got in and out of your home. You can even do a little CSI work yourself if you'd like, looking for a good set of fingerprints in which you could request evidence techs to come to your house and attempt to lift. Be aware though, this ain't Hollywood, and most everything you see on tv isn't reality. The two places you may get good prints are the glass on the window they made entry, and ultra smooth surfaces inside, like a tv screen, mirror, or dresser top, and that is only if they are clean. Door handles are next to impossible, and so is the window if it isn't fairly clean. The oils in your fingers will simply lift the dust off the surface, not leaving any prints behind. So that is my suggestion for reporting a B/E in the city of Detroit.

Why else are response times slow? Well, for starters, the department is seriously uderstaffed at this time. While I can't nail down the exact number, I can say with confidence that the department is about 500-1,000 officers UNDER budget. You read that correctly. The department is budgeted for a certain number of officers, and the department hasn't been meeting that number for several years. To make matters worse, the problem won't be resolved any time soon. Between 1984-1986 1,700 officers were hired, of which today between 900-1,200 officers remain. Some found it wasn't for them, some went to the suburbs, and some passed away over the years. With 20 year retirement for police officers, 25 years for higher rank officers, those 900-1,200 are now all eligable for retirement. That recent hiring wave over the past couple years, well, that brought on about 200 new officers. A number that doesn't even begin to cover the number of officers that retired during that time frame, so essentially no ground was gained. Some months last year saw between 20-30 officer retire.

I'm not sure whether the public realizes what a typical shift actually entails in the city of Detroit. An officer will likely get multiple "person with a weapon runs," and throw in a few "shots fired," runs as well. If there is a homicide scene, multiple units will be tied up in order to secure the crime scene, find witnesses, and crowd control...as everybody on the block has to come see what happened and try and trample through a crime scene because their brother lives on the next block. A few days ago nearly every unit in our district was assisting in trying to catch a mental patient running around Davison. The guy was bleeding all over from breaking windows out of businesses, was possibly hit by a car, off his meds, and strong as hell. Don't forget, slippery as shit because he was all bloody. It took about 5-7 of us to get the guy cuffed.

Do you think that type of run happens with frequency in the suburbs? How about gun runs and shots fired? I have a few friends in the suburbs who are officers, and what we deal with on a daily basis, they may deal with on a monthly, or even yearly basis.

Perhaps one of the top reasons for delayed response times though is our customers inability to understand what is and isn't a police matter. We will get calls for kids fighting. I'm not talking 8 kids beating the crap outta one kid. I'm talking two kids from the block who don't get along, say some words, and start scrapping. We get "Family Trouble" runs which amount to nothing more than arguments, no physical confrontations took place, they simply wanna "call the po-leece" on the family member. We have assault and battery runs in which a woman was assaulted by an ex-boyfriend, which she hasn't been dating in over a year, though let him stay the night last night. Oh yeah, she's made reports in the past on him too, though never followed through on charges. In that situation, we do our report, call domestic violence,call her back with a report number, and likely spend 1-1.5 hours on a run which will likely amount to no charges, as the complainant doesn't wish to come in and make a statement...."I don't wanna press charges, I just want it on record," as the saying goes.

Many of the police runs, the normal person would shake their head at and ask "They call the police for this?" It's a society/cultural thing I guess, that calling the police for non-police matters is simply the things to do.

I'd also like to address a few issues mentioned above. First and foremost, once your graduate the academy, you are not and CAN NOT be forced to serve for 2 years prior to leaving. You sign no contract, and have no obligations to stay. Secondly, those officers in the suburbs with the quick response times and excellant attitudes? Well, it should come as a surprise to many that the majority of them started out with DPD. Same officers, just in a different environment.

So how do things get better? I have some suggestions, but as with anything else, they take money, money that the state and city don't seem to have. First and foremost, we need those additional officers the city is budgeted for. That fix will be a slow one, as stated above, the last class in the academy is about to graduate. Total, we've gained about 225-250 officers over the past 2 years. During that same period, anywhere from 300-600 have retired, so you do the math. If a new class were to start today, it would be 6-10 months before they graduate, 18 months from the start before they are confirmed and able to work without a training officer....not as if the department abides by that. So you are looking at 18 months from today before you would gain another 25-50 officers, and it's a safe bet that another 200-300 will have retired by then. My only guess is that the same person that runs the numbers for police personell is also doing the city's accounting.

Equipment. Most every car we have has over 100,000 miles on it. Our cars are practically ran 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only cool down time most cars get would be the 15 minutes between shift change. You can only imagine the added wear and tear that puts on a car. Computers, well, all they really do is take up space in the scout cars. We had a streak that lasted several months where I had a working computer almost every day. For whatever reason, those days are gone. It's probably been a month now since I've had one, which makes traffic stops and running names a much bigger pain in the ass. In my opinion, the problem has now grown beyond each individual scout car, as no computers are working. I believe its a system wide problem, likely caused by either bills not being paid, or the city not renewing a maintenance contract with a company. Much like the computers we do our reports on, which have had expired virus software for months.

Detroit Police Officers often get labeled, just as this thread labled officers as "The Biggest Losers." Yet these same officers make up the majority of your suburban departments, and even the majority of the chiefs in the region started out with DPD. Suburban officers are often in attendance during training courses held with the DPD as well. Around the country, DPD is one of the most respected agencies in the country. Often because of the type of work environment we work in, as well as our lack of resources we have to do our jobs. Though I haven't made Police week in Washington D.C., I'm told that when you make your way through the crowd, it's like the parting of the see, with an individual often yelling out "Make way, Detroit Police Officer coming through."

[iheartthed]

I agree with Dtown, this is a great thread. Best in a while. Laughed out loud, which the subdued Professor rarely does.

Curious about the claims that the advertisement violates some or another law. That matters? In a city where the vast majority of murders never get solved, we're going to put a policeman on the case of your deceptive advertisement? One doubts it.

I especially like the "buy for $1 - wait a few years - sell for $3". That would cause a naive person to suggest doing that a hundred thousand times at a crack, which of course leads to the same paradox as the idea that when Mega Millions has a jackpot of $200 million [[when there are less than 200 million possible combinations of numbers), why not just buy one ticket for each combination? [[If you don't know why that's not possible, come to my office at the University and I will explain it to you, speaking very slowly.)

It's a UK url and targeted to European investors, so their marketing practices likely aren't subject to any American laws.