Looking for a friend do you know her?

**jcole** · August-12-18, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by Chicago48

Yes that's her. But I talked to her 3-4 months ago. She may be in hiding....who knows? I wrote Bert's, no reply. Oh well.

Did you try that Adrienne person who create the FB page about the birthday party?

**Former_Detroiter** · August-12-18, 09:07 AM

If you want to know if someone is dead go to the Social Security Death Index and enter what you know about them. It's a free site.

**jcole** · August-12-18, 09:23 AM

It is only current up to 2014 and only 3 yrs AFTER the date of death

Originally Posted by Former_Detroiter

If you want to know if someone is dead go to the Social Security Death Index and enter what you know about them. It's a free site.

**Former_Detroiter** · August-12-18, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by jcole

It is only current up to 2014 and only 3 yrs AFTER the date of death

That may be a different site. There are many that provide the same information. My parents died in 2010 and they are both listed on the site.

**jcole** · August-12-18, 01:27 PM

Yeah, current up to 2014, and three years after they died. If they died in 2010 that fits the description

Originally Posted by Former_Detroiter

That may be a different site. There are many that provide the same information. My parents died in 2010 and they are both listed on the site.

**aj3647** · August-13-18, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by jcole

This is not the first time someone has asked for help locating someone on here. And what is "unsavory" about someone trying to find and old friend that they are concerned about? Also, the woman was a stand up comedian in Detroit, so she's not an unknown

I'm sure if some anonymous stranger on an internet forum somewhere asked for YOUR home address and whereabouts, you'd be totally cool with that information being given out to an anonymous person without your knowledge or consent. Right?

The fact is, we don't know who the person is who is asking for this information, what relationship [[if any) they have with this woman, or what their intentions are. And yet everyone seems to be happy to just hand over this woman's information freely without even caring who it is going to or why. What if it was an ex-boyfriend or a stalker who was asking? What if this woman WANTS to be left alone?

**jcole** · August-14-18, 06:23 AM

This isn't information that is NOT readily available to anyone who knows how to do a good internet search, so I wouldn't exactly call it "handing over information freely"; Google has already done that , as well as the Whitepages, Spokeo and dozens of other search engines. Not to mention her presence on YouTube and Facebook having info SHE put there or is aware of. Apparently, now that she doesn't WANT to be found, she is hiding herself pretty well. As anyone who wants to can do IF they know what they're doing. Maybe you should Google yourself and see what breadcrumbs are out there about you. You'll be shocked to know that with just your name I can find where you live, your voting preferences and who you have lived with for the past 10 yrs. Unless you took measures to block it.
Also, the lady in question was a stand up comedian so not exactly someone who tried to hide from the public

Originally Posted by aj3647

I'm sure if some anonymous stranger on an internet forum somewhere asked for YOUR home address and whereabouts, you'd be totally cool with that information being given out to an anonymous person without your knowledge or consent. Right?

The fact is, we don't know who the person is who is asking for this information, what relationship [[if any) they have with this woman, or what their intentions are. And yet everyone seems to be happy to just hand over this woman's information freely without even caring who it is going to or why. What if it was an ex-boyfriend or a stalker who was asking? What if this woman WANTS to be left alone?

**aj3647** · August-14-18, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by jcole

This isn't information that is NOT readily available to anyone who knows how to do a good internet search, so I wouldn't exactly call it "handing over information freely"; Google has already done that , as well as the Whitepages, Spokeo and dozens of other search engines. Not to mention her presence on YouTube and Facebook having info SHE put there or is aware of. Apparently, now that she doesn't WANT to be found, she is hiding herself pretty well. As anyone who wants to can do IF they know what they're doing. Maybe you should Google yourself and see what breadcrumbs are out there about you. You'll be shocked to know that with just your name I can find where you live, your voting preferences and who you have lived with for the past 10 yrs. Unless you took measures to block it.
Also, the lady in question was a stand up comedian so not exactly someone who tried to hide from the public

Oh, I didn't know that because she was an amateur comedian 10-20 years ago means that she wants internet strangers to have her home address and other identifying information, in perpetuity, for the rest of her life. I totally wasn't aware that one agreed to give up any semblance of personal privacy when becoming an amateur stand-up comedian! Thanks for setting the record straight.

That there are resources out there to find this information does not mean YOU personally, or anyone else posting here, has to do the OP's dirty work for him. If it's so easy, then why did the OP even start this thread at all? Clearly he needed help to find a woman's address...and you were all to happy to give it to him, no questions asked. Do you even know who this person is that you just gave a potentially-vulnerable woman's home address to?

**Meddle** · August-14-18, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by jcole

This isn't information that is NOT readily available to anyone who knows how to do a good internet search,

Also, the lady in question was a stand up comedian so not exactly someone who tried to hide from the public

But that doesn't mean reposting it on an open forum.

And there are a great many past celebrities, major, minor, national and local who have left the business and no longer want to be public. There also could be some legal issues for this site which is why I don't understand why this thread hasn't been deleted.

Basically, mind you own freaking business and quit stalking people.

**Meddle** · August-14-18, 12:02 PM

OP has indicate making some attempts at contact and getting no reply. That should be a major hint.

**jcole** · August-14-18, 01:59 PM

The whole world is an open forum these days.

**aj3647** · August-14-18, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by jcole

The whole world is an open forum these days.

Feel free to put your money where your mouth is by posting your name and your home address here for all to see. If it helps, I'll start a new thread politely asking for JCole's home address and you can be a buddy and help me out by posting it. If the world is an open forum and doxing someone on the Internet is no big deal, then why not share your own information the same way you did to a woman you don't even know? And if you don't want to post your real name and home address, please explain why not.

And yes BTW, what you did is technically doxing:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxing

**jcole** · August-14-18, 03:35 PM

Oh, I KNOW I'm out there on the internet; it's up to you to figure out who I am though and then go and search. And do you REALLY think I feel obligated to do anything you tell me to do? As for the "doxing" please excuse me while I go clutch my pearls

Originally Posted by aj3647

Feel free to put your money where your mouth is by posting your name and your home address here for all to see. If it helps, I'll start a new thread politely asking for JCole's home address and you can be a buddy and help me out by posting it. If the world is an open forum and doxing someone on the Internet is no big deal, then why not share your own information the same way you did to a woman you don't even know? And if you don't want to post your real name and home address, please explain why not.

And yes BTW, what you did is technically doxing:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxing

**bust** · August-14-18, 10:15 PM

Jcole I almost always agree with you. But definitely not this time. This whole thread is gross.

If you feel compelled to "help" at least do it via a private message that isn't going to be indexed by every search engine and skeevy people directory, like the ones you mentioned, in perpetuity.

If she is in hiding, didn't it dawn on you maybe she has a good reason? Shouldn't you respect that possibility and err on the side of caution?

I realize many of you are unaware of the potential consequences of what you've done here, but the OP should have specified to send information only via private message in the first place.

Even then maybe you should think thrice before responding. I sure wouldn't. I am not making any accusation against the OP, but do you even know who he is? Or did you simply trust that an anonymous person on the internet's intentions are good?

This thread now comes up as the third result in a google search for the woman's name. And with it all this unsavory theorizing no reasonable person would want to be associated with.

It's already been indexed so significant damage has already been done to her reputation. But this thread should be deleted, fast!

**Zacha341** · August-14-18, 10:46 PM

^^^ Yes, after all has been said I now agree that the initial interest should have been PM'd at best, and at this point now completely deleted.

Erring on caution is best considering the voxing, stalking and other potential negative aspects and motivations native to the internet.

**Meddle** · August-15-18, 03:04 AM

The more people that report the thread, the faster it will be gone.

Many boards have specific rules against posting the personal information of others.

**Maof** · August-15-18, 05:24 AM

Although this isn't the first time we've seen someone searching for anyone but, this thread seemed creepy from the get go. Jcole isn't the only one using sleuthing skills so, cut her some slack, delete the thread and be done with it.

**jcole** · August-15-18, 07:30 AM

It's no skin off my nose if the thread is deleted or not. My objection is being told what I HAVE to do by another poster on a public forum. Also at least 4 other people, including Zacha offered suggestions or searches to the OP to find the woman. If I am "guilty" of anything, it's trying to help someone in a search that she could have done herself but doesn't know how. I'm assuming that if she is a friend of a 70 yr old woman, she may be close to her age and doesn't have the skills to find her by herself.

**jcole** · August-15-18, 07:39 AM

Not to mention that Chicago48 has been a member here since 2011 and has posted 249 times, so she is hardly an unknown.A few months ago she was trying to arrange "meals on wheels" for someone here in Detroit; she was also setting up a retirement party for herself here in the city; wanted to know if Bert still owned Bert's place, etc. Put two and two together as to her interest in the lady in question.

**aj3647** · August-15-18, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by Maof

Although this isn't the first time we've seen someone searching for anyone but, this thread seemed creepy from the get go. Jcole isn't the only one using sleuthing skills so, cut her some slack, delete the thread and be done with it.

Jcole is the only one defending her indefensible actions though.

I too will be reporting this thread. It's disgusting the way this woman's privacy was so wantonly and callously violated here. Notice the hypocrite who posted a woman's private home address on a public internet forum doesn't want their own information posted in the same way. I wonder why that is?

If OP is so concerned that this woman is "missing", then call the DPD and file a missing persons report instead of crowd-sourcing your online stalking to DYes. If this woman has not returned your attempts at contact, then it's because she has no interest in engaging with you. Maybe take a hint?

**jcole** · August-15-18, 05:53 PM

Go ahead and report it; I'm pretty sure the admins know about it being that they moved it here to Connections from the Discuss Detroit page a week ago.

**admin** · August-15-18, 08:02 PM

FROM THE MODERATORS: We have listened to the pro's and con's of this thread and reported post comments and are left with the unenviable task of making some of you happy and some unhappy.

Chicago48 is a member in long and good standing on this forum. There is nothing his/her past postings to indicate anything beyond good intentions. Indeed this forum has a long history of aiding such searches. Had this been a newbie the thread would have been gone.

However it would be helpful for Chicago48 to share why he/she wishes to find this person. Maybe to learn how to buy a CD or whatever.

We also see the efforts of members to aid in this search to have been done in good spirit and using legal publicly available resources.

Consequently the thread stands.

We take the privacy of DetroitYES members very seriously and do not share what little data we collect, which is really whatever anyone choses to share in their profiles, with anyone or any other party. We never have and never will, short of a legal subpoena.

Thank you for understanding.