top 10 signs of spring in the pointes

[edgar_rhode]

To hell with the beloved Allemons calendar and the first robin of spring - here are “the real top ten signs of spring in the grosse pointes” as assembled by a group of cynical neighbors while imbibing in some St Patrick day beverages.

Enjoy in the spirit of silly fun.

10. Location: The Village. Facades start to peel off buildings.

9. Location: Any street. Cease and tear down notices are placed on the withered remains of any still standing “snow people” [[ sic ) by the Pointes Beautification Council.

8. Location: Streets along the Mack Avenue border with Detroit. Yard clean up of dog droppings and stray bullets from the various holiday gun discharge celebrations.

7. Location: Fisher Road and Grosse Point Boulevard. Pink and / or Madras shorts are worn by a select group of privileged, style stagnant, bony kneed boys at Grosse Pointe South High School.

6. Location: any Kroger parking lot. Continued complete disregard of parking space lines even though they are now clearly visible after the snow melt.

5. Location: Moross and Cadieux Avenues. Traffic jams caused by oversized SUVs pulling trailers with tiny boats down to the Lake St Clair launch ramps.

4. Location: Windmill Point Drive. Taxpayer funded pot hole patching trucks are reallocated and can be seen making repairs to the driveways and parking pads of the politically connected.

3. Location: Charlevoix Street. Ninja health nuts take advantage of Daylight Savings Time by exercising their rights to fulfill a death wish and dress in non reflective dark clothes while running in the road.

2. Location: Any of the 3 shopping districts along Kercheval. Trophy wives and their inverse [[ ie recently divorced women ) show off their Valentines Day boob jobs, butt lifts and other “work” in skin tight yoga pants and cleavage revealing tops as they “shop” and “lunch” in all the new trendy places.

1. Location: East Jefferson and Barrington Road through Lakeshore and the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House. [[ da loop ) Penile overcompensating one percenters drive their uber expensive, vowel heavy, exotic convertibles at 20 MPH to show off their fiscal superiority, taunt the LEO’s and troll for the number 2’s in this list.

--

Feel free to add anything we may have missed or compile a list that’s unique to your community.

[rjlj]

Divisive comments, really not that funny.

To hell with the beloved Allemons calendar and the first robin of spring - here are “the real top ten signs of spring in the grosse pointes” as assembled by a group of cynical neighbors while imbibing in some St Patrick day beverages.

Enjoy in the spirit of silly fun.

10. Location: The Village. Facades start to peel off buildings.

9. Location: Any street. Cease and tear down notices are placed on the withered remains of any still standing “snow people” [[ sic ) by the Pointes Beautification Council.

8. Location: Streets along the Mack Avenue border with Detroit. Yard clean up of dog droppings and stray bullets from the various holiday gun discharge celebrations.

7. Location: Fisher Road and Grosse Point Boulevard. Pink and / or Madras shorts are worn by a select group of privileged, style stagnant, bony kneed boys at Grosse Pointe South High School.

6. Location: any Kroger parking lot. Continued complete disregard of parking space lines even though they are now clearly visible after the snow melt.

5. Location: Moross and Cadieux Avenues. Traffic jams caused by oversized SUVs pulling trailers with tiny boats down to the Lake St Clair launch ramps.

4. Location: Windmill Point Drive. Taxpayer funded pot hole patching trucks are reallocated and can be seen making repairs to the driveways and parking pads of the politically connected.

3. Location: Charlevoix Street. Ninja health nuts take advantage of Daylight Savings Time by exercising their rights to fulfill a death wish and dress in non reflective dark clothes while running in the road.

2. Location: Any of the 3 shopping districts along Kercheval. Trophy wives and their inverse [[ ie recently divorced women ) show off their Valentines Day boob jobs, butt lifts and other “work” in skin tight yoga pants and cleavage revealing tops as they “shop” and “lunch” in all the new trendy places.

1. Location: East Jefferson and Barrington Road through Lakeshore and the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House. [[ da loop ) Penile overcompensating one percenters drive their uber expensive, vowel heavy, exotic convertibles at 20 MPH to show off their fiscal superiority, taunt the LEO’s and troll for the number 2’s in this list.

--

Feel free to add anything we may have missed or compile a list that’s unique to your community.

[Detroitnerd]

Divisive comments, really not that funny.

Everybody's a critic. Go out to the box office and ask for your money back! :P

[1953]

I'm with rjlj...bunch of nonsense, this is...

[Bobl]

He implied that the list was comprised by those imbibing in alcoholic beverages. Did anyone expect deep thought? I thought some points were silly, but mildly amusing, and particularly liked:

"Location: Fisher Road and Grosse Point Boulevard. Pink and / or Madras shorts are worn by a select group of privileged, style stagnant, bony kneed boys at Grosse Pointe South High School."

Thanks for a couple of smiles, Edgar.

[Gpwrangler]

I like it...and I live here!

[T.Low]

Every bit as good as what Letterman's Harvard Grads write for his lists. Thanks Edgar.

[One Shot]

Most are true! I liked it!

[p69rrh51]

To hell with the beloved Allemons calendar and the first robin of spring - here are “the real top ten signs of spring in the grosse pointes” as assembled by a group of cynical neighbors while imbibing in some St Patrick day beverages.

Enjoy in the spirit of silly fun.

10. Location: The Village. Facades start to peel off buildings.

9. Location: Any street. Cease and tear down notices are placed on the withered remains of any still standing “snow people” [[ sic ) by the Pointes Beautification Council.

8. Location: Streets along the Mack Avenue border with Detroit. Yard clean up of dog droppings and stray bullets from the various holiday gun discharge celebrations.

7. Location: Fisher Road and Grosse Point Boulevard. Pink and / or Madras shorts are worn by a select group of privileged, style stagnant, bony kneed boys at Grosse Pointe South High School.

6. Location: any Kroger parking lot. Continued complete disregard of parking space lines even though they are now clearly visible after the snow melt.

5. Location: Moross and Cadieux Avenues. Traffic jams caused by oversized SUVs pulling trailers with tiny boats down to the Lake St Clair launch ramps.

4. Location: Windmill Point Drive. Taxpayer funded pot hole patching trucks are reallocated and can be seen making repairs to the driveways and parking pads of the politically connected.

3. Location: Charlevoix Street. Ninja health nuts take advantage of Daylight Savings Time by exercising their rights to fulfill a death wish and dress in non reflective dark clothes while running in the road.

2. Location: Any of the 3 shopping districts along Kercheval. Trophy wives and their inverse [[ ie recently divorced women ) show off their Valentines Day boob jobs, butt lifts and other “work” in skin tight yoga pants and cleavage revealing tops as they “shop” and “lunch” in all the new trendy places.

1. Location: East Jefferson and Barrington Road through Lakeshore and the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House. [[ da loop ) Penile overcompensating one percenters drive their uber expensive, vowel heavy, exotic convertibles at 20 MPH to show off their fiscal superiority, taunt the LEO’s and troll for the number 2’s in this list.

--

Feel free to add anything we may have missed or compile a list that’s unique to your community.

Only a clueless moron can come up with this.

Let's take it line by line.
10. The facades in the village are not peeling and very very rarely do.
9. There is no such thing as the Pointes Beautification Council. Its up the local municipalities to write code violations.
8. My shop is along Mack Avenue and I have never seen dog droppings or stray bullet holes and I drive the street every day.
7. I have not seen pink or madras shorts on any Grosse Pointe South male student in over 35 years!
6. This one is true, but then this happens in EVERY part of the metro area. Its not just a GP thing!!
5. Absolutely untrue! There are boats being hauled by trucks but in the 53 years I have lived here I have NEVER seen a traffic jam created by trailerable boats.
4. Another absolutely untrue! The owners do not use city funded equipment or manpower and GPP would never allow it.
3. This one is a problem, but a problem found all over the suburbs of Metro Detroit, not just in Grosse Pointe.
2. While there are a few of the stereotype mentioned above [[there are more in Birmingham and Bloomfield Hills), what are the "trendy" new places?
1. This shows how clueless the poster really is!! Those going 20MPH and Jefferson and Lakeshore are not residents of GP, they are "tourists" from other areas making a mess and annoying the real residents who are going 40 plus MPH and trying to get to their next destination.

The poster needs to get their head out of the ass! Anytime you want to see the real Grosse Pointe let me know, I would be more than willing to show you!

[sumas]

Not to kill a thread but I do drive the Pointes to see the Redbuds and Dogwoods in bloom. Then of course the azealeas and Rhodos in bloom. Not imaginative landscaping but still very pretty. Then of course the Grosse Pointe weed, Pacysandra in abundance as ground cover.

Pink and green is still the predominant colors for the pointes and deck shoes never go out of fashion. Some things don't change. Actually I find it quaint and charming and yes I have also seen traffic jams too caused by behemouth boats and or tiny boats being hauled to summer berths.

[edgar_rhode]

Good day p69rrh51!

Glad you’re in a better mood than you were last night when you left that rather hostile reply.

Only a clueless moron can come up with this.

Perhaps. I’ve been called worse. But since you want to go though this silly exercise and not take the original post in the spirit of a tongue in cheek roasting of the town i’ve lived in, paid taxes in, sent my kids through the school system in and thoroughly loved for the past 20 + years - lets go >

Let's take it line by line.

10. The facades in the village are not peeling and very very rarely do.

Go stand in front of moosejaw in the village and tell me what you see and then check the news from Sunday July 13, 2008 when the facade fell from the starbucks. It happens.

9. There is no such thing as the Pointes Beautification Council. Its up the local municipalities to write code violations.

Actually there is. Our house was given a award several years back when we had some landscaping done. Google Grosse Pointe Beautification Commissions. There is a link to said commission in the Farms and the Park. That they would tag crumbling snow sculptures is obviously absurd and funny. At least to me and my friends.

8. My shop is along Mack Avenue and I have never seen dog droppings or stray bullet holes and I drive the street every day.

First off [[ and i’m serious here ) I hope you and your business are doing well and continue to thrive. It saddens me to drive through town and see more and more vacancy signs. I try to shop local and its becoming less and less possible. In point 8 I was referring to my neighbors going out and cleaning a winters worth of dog droppings in their yards. And yes - on occasion - they have found bullets from the ritual new years gun [[ and fourth of july ) “celebrations”. We found three in our attic when we had an addition put on our house.

7. I have not seen pink or madras shorts on any Grosse Pointe South male student in over 35 years!

Sorry I laughed because I thought the same but I did witness this the other day when it was a somewhat warm day and I came out of Fresh Farms Market. What goes round comes round I guess.

6. This one is true, but then this happens in EVERY part of the metro area. Its not just a GP thing!!

I’m not saying its unique to the pointes just that its part of our community culture.

5. Absolutely untrue! There are boats being hauled by trucks but in the 53 years I have lived here I have NEVER seen a traffic jam created by trailerable boats.

Again i’ve been stuck in boat traffic on both moross and cadieux. Just lucky I guess.

4. Another absolutely untrue! The owners do not use city funded equipment or manpower and GPP would never allow it.

Ok i’ll give you this one. It was a stretch. But this kind of crony corruption happens in many other locales. Its not unthinkable that someone might call in a “favor”.

3. This one is a problem, but a problem found all over the suburbs of Metro Detroit, not just in Grosse Pointe.

Refer to line 6 reply.

2. While there are a few of the stereotype mentioned above [[there are more in Birmingham and Bloomfield Hills), what are the "trendy" new places?

Refer to line 6 reply. And this one puzzles me. You state you’ve lived here 53 years... haven’t you seen the revitalization along Kercheval? Park Grille, Atwater Brewery, Cornwall Bakery, Red Crown, the expanded City Kitchen, Marais, Morning Glory, Luxe or Blufin on Mack. Just to name a few. Open your eyes. Or to repurpose your closing line – get your head out of your ass.

1. This shows how clueless the poster really is!! Those going 20MPH and Jefferson and Lakeshore are not residents of GP, they are "tourists" from other areas making a mess and annoying the real residents who are going 40 plus MPH and trying to get to their next destination.

Yep. clueless in the motor city. I’m sure no other Grosse Pointer has ever seen ultra sports cars looping around Lakeshore drive. Lamborghini, Ferrari, Maybach, Maserati, Porsche, Bugatti, Aston Martin, high end Audis, BMWs and Mercedes. All capable of doing neck snapping speed and restricted to crawling under 35 MPH. Never seen that. Nope never. Not even once.

The poster needs to get their head out of the ass! Anytime you want to see the real Grosse Pointe let me know, I would be more than willing to show you!

So thanks for the offer p69rrh51 but based on what you’ve posted here it seems you might need to be a bit more observant yourself. I think my friends and my silly post was taken WAY too seriously by you. I’ve substantiated the observations and unfortunately like they say – if you have to explain a joke…

[Gpwrangler]

I liked #3. Today I saw a spandex-adorned cyclist at the light who couldn't stop at the red light because his hands were busy steering his fixie and talking on the phone, so he simply rode in a big circle in the intersection, narrowly missing being hit by a couple cars. About six more cyclists behind him simply ignored the red light altogether. Ahhhh, springtime in the Pointes.

[Zacha341]

A cyclist too busy on a PHONE IS A FOOL no matter where they are. Insane! Put down the phone, peddle, look and live. I see cyclists who're disciplined and follow the rules but the 'circle-the-light' person is chancing becoming cool flat at a funeral parlor. Two wheels never win against four, especially cycling.

[Zacha341]

I'm in and out of the Pointes often as I have business I handle in that area. I went to Belle Tire last week and noticed nothing per the list. Just folks out and about, but the Krogers was extra busy.

[Honky Tonk]

I'm in and out of the Pointes often as I have business I handle in that area. I went to Belle Tire last week and noticed nothing per the list. Just folks out and about, but the Krogers was extra busy.

You can go in there @ 10:45 p.m. and it's busy.

[Gpwrangler]

A cyclist too busy on a PHONE IS A FOOL no matter where they are. Insane! Put down the phone, peddle, look and live. I see cyclists who're disciplined and follow the rules but the 'circle-the-light' person is chancing becoming cool flat at a funeral parlor. Two wheels never win against four, especially cycling.

This guy got real angry at a motorist who honked at him, and gave a lecture about how he was entitled to this and that blah blah blah. I almost dropped my bag of spinach and cheese pastries as I walked out of Fresh Farms! I stay away from the multicolored-spandex guys, they can be mean even in the Pointes.

Belle led tire was also busy. Waited 3 hours to learn they don't carry parts for my old clunker. Lots of saabs and beemers got worked on first.

[canuck]

This guy got real angry at a motorist who honked at him, and gave a lecture about how he was entitled to this and that blah blah blah. I almost dropped my bag of spinach and cheese pastries as I walked out of Fresh Farms! I stay away from the multicolored-spandex guys, they can be mean even in the Pointes.

Belle led tire was also busy. Waited 3 hours to learn they don't carry parts for my old clunker. Lots of saabs and beemers got worked on first.

Didja have to wait the whole time or didja get a Foie Gras Poutine with truffles or Coney Island à la grecque [[substituting chili sauce with seaweed tzatziki) from À La Fine Pointe on Kercheval?

[a fictional account of life in the Pointes]

[jonathanlivingstonseagull]

We forgot the no socks rule.

[Honky Tonk]

We forgot the no socks rule.

It's not a rule, it's a City Ordinance.

[Honky Tonk]

Belle led tire was also busy. Waited 3 hours to learn they don't carry parts for my old clunker. Lots of saabs and beemers got worked on first.

Try the Fine Art Gallery and Auto-Repair on Kercheval.

[sumas]

We forgot the no socks rule.

Forgot that one, my kids went to Grosse Pointe South, no socks, sandles, no coat, no gloves, no hat in winter. Po folk, acting like rich folk, acting like po folk.

They had all the above, I kind of wanted a bag on my head in embarrassment. Thank the Lord, they are grown now. Last I saw, they are bundled for winter weather these days. I guess they gained a few smarts.

[A2Mike]

As to the comment about GP's sartorial tendencies, it's been a long time since the crowd there resembled a little Locust Valley, North Shore Boston or Palm Beach. Recent visits to Jumps, a popular Mack Av. pancake place, and even the touted Marais, revealed patrons dressed more for Columbus or Milwaukee than Greenwich or Stamford. Even LA's west side will display a better turned out lot.

[Gpwrangler]

I unwittingly contributed to the downfall Sunday. I left my Ford in the driveway with the hood up and one wheel off, on a jack stand.

[sumas]

I unwittingly contributed to the downfall Sunday. I left my Ford in the driveway with the hood up and one wheel off, on a jack stand.

Surprised your neighbors didn't riot. Should have put out an empty beer can too. Did attend a party once in GPS where an elderly matron told me my cocktail dress was at least two years out of date. I was vastly amused. Still have it 15 years later.

[sumas]

I can certainly laugh at Detroit too. Every man and teen wears the same uniform on the street. Black hoodie, black jeans, black tennis shoes. Went to a police precinct seminar and everyone, about 70 of us laughed, when police begged for good descriptions. As clean a shiny nickel, a neighbor got tackled by police. Mistaken identity. You guessed what he was wearing I'm sure.