Paging Sumas and old guy. Tponetom

[tponetom]

Paging Sumas and old guy I hope that both of you will read this post. It refers to your Caregivers experience in my recent post. I’ll try not to be too wordy. There are many shapes and sizes and attitudes and abilities and especially, modus operandi, that make a Caregiver. My first job was a baby-sitter, hired by my oldest sister and her husband. Five hours for a dollar. I was rich! [[1940) I hired my first Caregiver for Peggy in the summer of 2013. I interviewed 4 women, all in their forties. They were pleasant and seemingly O.K. However, the fourth one got the job. She was five foot seven and about 160 pounds. She had volunteered for the Army Reserves ten years ago and was still in it. What made me choose her was the simple fact that she owned a Harley-DavidsonBike. My thinking was that any woman who could bull a bike around could easily handle my 112 pound Babe. Peggy cannot walk by herself, and she cannot maneuver porch steps, and I cannot get her into our Mini-Van without extreme help. With Lauren, Peggy is a toy. The Gold turned to Platinum in just a few days. The three of us, plus our next door neighbor, Molly Brown, [[87) bonded immediately.Note: Old guy, there is never too little to be appreciated. We have a new neighbor who moved in directly across the street from us. Three times she has come over to remind me that if I need some help, just call her. And I will call her.Sumas: You mentioned Parkinsons Disease. Been there, have that. Tremors in her hands mostly. Muscle rigidity in the right arm and a shuffling gait. She did not want another MRI after the first tumor was excised. Five more MRI’s showed a new tumor and we both agreed, to have no more skullduggery. We have discussed everything, every time, with our Doctor and we always come to a unanimous decision and we feel good about it.At 85? One day at a time.

[sumas]

I also will try not to be wordy. Nothing can replace the love and care we do for those we love so much or the other people we do for. Sometimes its so hard too. I tend most to the chicken little theory, which is of course, I'll do it myself. Actually all that does is breed resentment. I am learning though to accept outside help. Stay strong and do remember to care for yourself too.

Mostly it is so emotionally killing to see the frustrations as motor skills just wane. Horrible day today just dealing with dumb shit! My husband wanted to cook for me and did a good job with a new recipe I clipped. His strength left him and I had to finish. His ego suffered and I cried inside.

[old guy]

Hey tponetom, good to hear that you found someone that you feel comfortable to help out.
My situation was one of my best friends for about 45 years. When his health started going south, he didn't have health insurance. It caused him to lose his business and then his wife. He was in a situation where he had no where to turn to, and over the years he had helped me out a number of times when I was down and out.
I told him I could give him a place to stay and recuperate. He just never told me about how sick he was. I like to think I helped him out. But had I known what kind of shape he was actually in, and that he didn't really have a lot of time left, I would have tried to do more things for him. I guess that's why I felt kind of bad about the situation. But again, I thought he was on the mend. I was running a newspaper, helping another company restructure their management and producing organic veggies in greenhouses for two restaurants. I was in a three year plan of retiring the following year. Kind of self absorbed.

We did have a good time, but I guess you just always look back at situations like that and consider what you could have done to make a situation better. But.... I think I did help him out and it is what it is. Guess I was kind of wordy.
Best of luck to you and your wife.

[sumas]

Sounds fake but you and Peggy are really in our thoughts and prayers. So many frustrations for the caregiver and care receiver. We know we understand. We opened our house to people for a conference. Sometimes my sweetie just can't do stairs, I stay near and slept on the floor. Little young cuties thought maybe I gave up one of my bedrooms for them. NOT!

Hard to explain to anyone who has not had to deal with these issues.