How Many Somalian Pirates Have Actually Moved to Detroit in the Last Couple of Years?

**DetroitPlanner** · June-26-14, 06:53 PM

There are fewer pirates off the coast of Somalia. They must be going somewhere. In my opinion it makes perfect sense that they have all bought houses from Mayor Duggan's website and are planning to invade freighters and yachts along the Great Lakes. Discuss.

**Jimaz** · June-26-14, 07:33 PM

But are they young, upwardly-mobile professional Somalian pirates? LOL!

**JBMcB** · June-26-14, 07:40 PM

Point man up in the bridge overlooking the channel at Dossin's. Radios down to zodiacs parked at Ft. Wayne. Run them aground to strip them at Hennepin Point, or hightail it to the lawless refuge of Canada.

**acer_ventura** · June-26-14, 07:45 PM

ROFL! I guess we'll be arming fishing trawlers as Q-ships next? With the UN in town over water consumption as a natural right- we might as well revisit the Rush-Bagot Treaty too!

**Dan Wesson** · June-26-14, 07:47 PM

This is funny!

**ABetterDetroit** · June-26-14, 08:29 PM

That damn Gilbert, he will pay anyone to come here!

**Honky Tonk** · June-26-14, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by DetroitPlanner

There are fewer pirates off the coast of Somalia. They must be going somewhere. In my opinion it makes perfect sense that they have all bought houses from Mayor Duggan's website and are planning to invade freighters and yachts along the Great Lakes. Discuss.

Can we get a definition of "Somalian pirate" before proceeding with this thread?

**gvidas** · June-26-14, 09:12 PM

"Somalian pirate" is a two noun phrase describing someone from Somalia who conducts piracy. Wikipedia defines a piracy as "[...] an act of robbery or criminal violence at sea," which I think would preclude acts of robbery and criminal violence on freshwater.

Somalia, of course, is a country in the Horn of Africa. There are many ethnic groups in Somalia, but let's ignore that for now, and instead look at the more measurable number. The Somali people inhabit land roughly overlapping with Somalia, the country, and anyway the subtle differences are overshadowed by the similar spelling in English. At the time of the 2010 Census, there were 85,700 people with Somali ancestry in the US.

**corktownyuppie** · June-26-14, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by DetroitPlanner

There are fewer pirates off the coast of Somalia. They must be going somewhere. In my opinion it makes perfect sense that they have all bought houses from Mayor Duggan's website and are planning to invade freighters and yachts along the Great Lakes. Discuss.

i don't care how much Somali food is getting sold at Whole Foods
i don't care how many super-expensive Somali bars are opening up on Michigan Ave
i don't care how many Somali pirates I see roaming the streets or how many Somali pirates are playing in the Detroit City Somali Futbol League.

until I see some official data in the form of a Somali census, then the answer is simple.
They do not exist.

And if you can't see that, then maybe you need to lay off the Chemtrails and stop vaccinating your pets because you are obviously being lied to by a vast conspiracy.

**ABetterDetroit** · June-26-14, 10:32 PM

Why do we regard the Somali pirates as "God"? They actually are nothing but a nuisance.

**DetroitPlanner** · June-26-14, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by ABetterDetroit

Why do we regard the Somali pirates as "God"? They actually are nothing but a nuisance.

I hear most have addresses back in Somalia just to evade paying City taxes and insurance.

One thing for sure, they won't vote for the SMART bus tax the stinkers!

GUSHI · June-26-14, 10:41 PM

They spend mney in the city and pay there bills, something most in the city do not.

**mwilbert** · June-26-14, 11:13 PM

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll move to the suburbs once they have school-age pirate children.

Or maybe pirate home-school? I'm not sure.

**KJ5** · June-27-14, 01:18 AM

I seen this guy selling pirated DVDs the other day. I think he may have been Somalian.

**old guy** · June-27-14, 02:13 AM

73, I know this one.

**Honky Tonk** · June-27-14, 04:39 AM

They're being supported by a "Right To Pirate" advocacy group.

**stasu1213** · June-27-14, 05:30 AM

Wow! I thought that I was the so-called conspiracy nut on here. I would like to ask, if this is the case, how many members of the Mexican Drug Cartel, The Irish Republican Army, Sunnis and Shiites, Japanese Black Dragon Mafia, Russian mafia, and German's Neo-Nazi Party had all purchased homes in Detroit and are living among us. Frightening concept isn't it.

**ABetterDetroit** · June-27-14, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by stasu1213

Wow! I thought that I was the so-called conspiracy nut on here. I would like to ask, if this is the case, how many members of the Mexican Drug Cartel, The Irish Republican Army, Sunnis and Shiites, Japanese Black Dragon Mafia, Russian mafia, and German's Neo-Nazi Party had all purchased homes in Detroit and are living among us. Frightening concept isn't it.

No worries, I heard some rich old billionare by the name of Adolph Hitler is coming from Argentina to use Detroit's money to build them a arena that all these folks can battle each other in where they only use art from the DIA that is not on display as weapons. Of course, only suburbanites will come to watch and then they will leave never spending a dime outside the arena.