Paging Ladies , Young and Mature. tponetom

[tponetom]

 Paging All Ladies!
9/7/2008
This is a story about the female gender.


The spectrum of emotions, in women, is as near perfect as can be for a human being.
Most ladies, GET IT! A few men do, but not very many.


On her Birthday Anniversary, Wedding Anniversary and other Sundry Days of
importance, [[to a woman, that is,) I write her a whimsical, tear-jerking, silly, remorseful, funny,
sentimental, reminiscent, [[or whatever mood I happen to be in) poem or story, but always, in a
loving sense.
For instance, on her 16th birthday, I wrote the following doggerel:


“When I sense the grandeur of Heaven,
On a background of azure blue,
It pales and fades in comparison,
To the wonder that is, You.”


Now, as corny as that may sound, it clinched my future! [[Women get it!)

63 and counting. Sept. 1, 1949 [[Our anniversary)
St. Joseph’s Church.

ANGELS, 101
[[This all takes place in the, not so far, future.)
St. Peter was perplexed! He scratched his head and pondered for a few moments. He
knew he did NOT press the only switch that would open the Pearly Gates. Was it possible that
the ‘devil’ was playing a ‘mind game’ with him? Did the Gate really open all by itself?
Suddenly, a calm overcame his distraught emotions. An ethereal figure was slowly
gliding toward him. He knew something, beyond heavenly, was about to happen. St. Peter could
sense that the outward beauty of this apparition, paled by comparison to her inner soul.
The Red Phone on his desk was covered with cobwebs. The last time he used it was
when there was some ‘to do’ in the Garden of Eden. Fumbling, he managed to punch the
numbers, Nine-One-One.
God answered. Before Pete could utter a word, God said, “Yes, I know. She is here.
Bring her to me, forthwith..”
The militant order from God, stimulated Pete and snapped him back to his senses.
“Follow me,” he commanded the lady, and then quickly added a “please” to his request.
He thought, to himself, “Well, you can’t be too careful. You never know who you are messing
with!”
When they entered His quarters, God arose from his throne. Now, Pete was really in a
quandary! The last time God stood up for anyone was about two thousand years ago when some
Itinerant preacher named Jesus took up permanent residence in Heaven.
Understanding Pete’s frustration, God quickly allayed his fears by explaining what was
happening.
God then told the story to Pete. It began in the year 1929, the year the stock market
crashed. The entire life of the lady standing before Him, was made known to Him, instantly, at
her birth. He also knew the repercussions that would follow, when she made her Heavenly
debut. He had extreme ambivalent feelings. Some halos may fall!

God told Pete to tell Gabriel to blow reveille. He wanted everyone, awake and alert.
Attendance at the Assembly Hall Cloud was mandatory for all. Archangels, Angels,
Apprentice Angels and Probationary Parolees from Purgatory.
He knew he would have to scrap the current policies and qualifications for membership in
the Corp of Angels. There would be no ‘grandfather’ or ‘grandmother’ clause exclusions.
Everyone had to either shape up,,,,or ship down!
He said the reason for ‘change’ had just arrived. She was the new and greatly improved
version of the Angelic Paradigm. [[AP)
He proclaimed a 90 day Sabbatical for one and all. No exceptions. That precious time
would be spent in studious solitude, beginning with a review of the text book, “The Good Angel,
101.”
That would be followed by a review of the “Old” and the “New” books. .
Then, the real chore would be an excruciating scrutiny of the human life of the AP, for
therein lie all the heavenly qualities that they would have to practice in order to remain in
Heaven.
There was a Tornado-like scramble for survival. Halos and harps went flying, hither and
yon.
God looked at his new Angelic Paradigm, and said, “Thank You for your gift.!”
She looked at him and said, “Are You not going to join them? You have been known to
screw up now and then, also.”
Being Omniscience and Omnipotent, God knew it was coming.!
With a sigh of resignation, He said, “Well, I suppose I will have to reassess my original
proclamation about your husband. Maybe I can let him in through the back door,,,in the dead of
night,,,when everyone is sleeping.”
[[My Note: Personally, I am glad that she has long coattails!)

[gazhekwe]

Hello, Tom! It is amazing how far away the future seems at the tender ages of 20-something. The stories are wonderful and get better with the passage of time. <3