Movies Not to Watch

"Greenberg". Ordinarily, I like Ben Stiller's movies, and this one has received decent reviews. However, I found it one of the longest two hour movies I've ever watched. It is definitely not a comedy and it's also not the usual drama. Most of the people are ordinary people doing ordinary things. Stiller's character is recovering from a mental breakdown and still has lots of issues with depression and anger. But so have some of the people around him like his brother or brother-in-law in whose house he is staying and a former band member. I don't recommend this movie.

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Originally Posted by maxx

"Greenberg". Ordinarily, I like Ben Stiller's movies, and this one has received decent reviews. However, I found it one of the longest two hour movies I've ever watched. It is definitely not a comedy and it's also not the usual drama. Most of the people are ordinary people doing ordinary things. Stiller's character is recovering from a mental breakdown and still has lots of issues with depression and anger. But so have some of the people around him like his brother or brother-in-law in whose house he is staying and a former band member. I don't recommend this movie.

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I saw this on the list while browsing the OnDemand movies yesterday. I read the description up to "Starring: Ben Stiller" and moved on.

What do I do if I say "do NOT watch this"? It may have a reverse psychology effect and cause one to flock to it like it were Pandora's Box. Over the years, I've grown to hate a lot of movies out there. The more they stick diatribe or an over-biased horse-blindered portrayal of some aspect, the more I walk away pissed off at the film. I should add, a bad film makes me feel like I was a captive audience [[like in Clockwork Orange) who was mind raped or at least got precious, unrecoverable time taken from them.

I knew guys who worked at Thomas Video, and prior to that, my mom worked at a neighborhood film-development and video-rental store. So, I've seen my share of movies. On two separate occasions, I asked two cultured guys named Joel, what was the worst film they ever saw, they both said it was "120 Days of Sodom". Clearly, because there are sick-f*cks who relish this stuff, it makes lots of mentions online. Yet, given what I am told, I would stay far away from it.

I learned that just because something is "Indie", does not make it well-thought out or well-done. The taming down of IFC and Sundance channel is most unfortunate, but the way Sundance was getting in the last horrible decade was abominable.

I used to like Sundance, and it was a guarantee that I could turn it on and catch an awesome surreal, foreign film [[like "Delicatessan"). Yet, just six years ago, I had a losing streak of turning it on late at night and catching these hideous sh*t pedophilic chic films that throw in the notions that children are latent sexual creatures "that are just asking for it". They seem to really want to hint that children are "more sexually interested then perceived and should be indoctrinated a lot sooner for their own good" [[!?!).

One was "Somersault" about a 16-year old who prefers older men. Another was "Mystery Skin", where I caught a scene with a gay listening to audio tapes of his partner enjoying being abused as a kid.

Then there was a horrible Argento girl film called "The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things" which showed a kid liking to be raped by men. This one was the peak of horrible, and it was later revealed that the celebrated person responsible for this "autobiographical account" was a delusional liar and made up most of it. Maltin said it best by saying it was "pretentious" and a "One-note film may be read as an outsider's warped view of an American heartland populated by abusive parents, perverts, and hypocritical Bible-thumping rednecks."

Now, keep in mind, I don't know what I am getting into until I watch this crizzap, and then I start to get sick [[I also notice that most of these films came out around 2004, so someone was pushing the envelope somewhere, maybe even taunting America to react more conservative around an election year). It got to be where I'd read descriptions like "young son of crime family falls in love with undercover male cop investigating them" or "man and son go on vacation and find they are more sexually intimate then anticipated", and I obviously wouldn't even bother.

What a f*cking nightmare! Who thrills to this?! I guess if NAMBLA is still active, this kind of horse puke is going to thrive! It was just a double dog-nasty shame to see that the same channel that was giving me Happy Times, Run, Lola, Run or Nobody Knows, pumping this out at the same inopportune times that I would just happen to tune into it exhausted at that weary time of night [[given that I have no objective TV/cable guide to refer to, how do I know my cable isn't getting hacked?)

In summation: Avoid the previous titles I mentioned. I think Sundance is for sh*t!, and if it took getting them neutered to rid themselves of such cr8ppy diddler films as they were showing back then, then it was for the better.

Saw a stupid one that I guess had a lot of idiotic New Age Italian Horror influence to it. It was called "Visitor" from 1979 and had Glenn Ford, John Huston, and a younger [[was he ever young?) Lance Henriksen in it. It had elements of the Omen, Manitou, Chariots of the Gods, and other stupid B.S. to it. It was a bunch of nonsense, yet, Rotten Tomatoes must be incredibly campy and snarky by giving it a 100% [[which they won't even do with Casablanca).

The only good things about the film, is how slick it is shot for it's time [[capturing interiors that remind us of what the Ren Cen design promised, which I'm down with-that whole fat '70s monolithic mod style and all) and the funky, fat horn soundtrack that sounds like the warm up to a retro telecast football game.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh3SFgOql3I So, if you really get off on seeing a little girl talk dirty to Glenn Ford, this is for you.

On two separate occasions I had to apologize to friends for movies I rented from Thomas Video that ended up reeking of foul dung. The first, involved setting up one friend for the anticipation of seeing "City on Fire" which was supposed to be the inspiration for Reservoir Dogs. The middle-aged gal working there grabbed the wrong one, and it turned out to be a Leslie Nielsen '70s disaster flick, about-yeah, you guessed it-a city that catches on fire. The periodic look I got from my pal during the viewing....

The second was the Butcher's Wife [[21% according to Rotten Tomatoes). I like Jeff Daniels and Frances McDormand and all, but this film was pretentious slop, worse than that one Demi Moore flick I had to sit through at the theaters [[my friends would pick some ranky, drawn-out stinkers back in the early '90s-I remember a large group of us chose to get up and leave the State/Filmore Theater on $1 Monday night right in the middle of The Crow we thought it was that bad.), I think it was called Mortal Thoughts.

I'm going to agree with cartoonist Mary Fleener most movies suck.

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Originally Posted by G-DDT

Saw a stupid one that I guess had a lot of idiotic New Age Italian Horror influence to it. It was called "Visitor" from 1979

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Speaking of, two films I've seen since that come close to this stinker was City of the Living Dead, and it was typical Fulci [[oh-no here comes the drill slowly looming closer) with music composed by someone I'm not surprised worked with Goblin. The only eye-popper was an over-the-top gore scene I'd seen recorded before by some folks I knew; An undead priest stares at a woman who begins to weep blood then vomits out her insides. Nice Thanksgiving viewing to say the least.

The second was a Larry Cohen film that was recently on TCM. It was called God Told Me Tohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asVxZ5wO_GE which, for a B-grade film, has all the efforts, acting, sets, hope, and set-up to being a good film but quickly unravels halfway through. It's about a series of Mass killings that pop-up where the dying [[or suicidal) killer states "God Told Me To". Not much into the cult aspects is revealed. In fact, it quickly devolves into a bunch of new-age drivel of von Daniken proportions, with elements resembling the Barney & Betty Hill Alien Abductions.

The only good things about this film were appearances by Sylvia Sidney and Andy Kaufman as a murderous policeman. Also, there was some weird Cronenberg type aspects that actually pre-dated Cronenberg's films [[during his early "winter period") Rabid, Brood, and Scanners-what with the gnarly sibling rivalry power-showdown type of thing and with the weird orifices and the crying out glavin.

Check out "Best of the Worst" by RedLetterMedia for some FilmeSchadenFreude. [[German is cool - you can just mash words together to make new ones :)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ_TJFLc25JR3VZ7Xe-cmt4k3bMKBZ5Tm

They watch, and generally make fun of semi-MST3K-style, terrible old movies. I highly recommend this episode where they discuss "White Fire," which features a sub-plot with the protagonist lusting after his sister then, after her brutal death, finding a girlfriend who looks exactly like her. This is an action movie, keep in mind.

https://youtu.be/JsnzlIests4?list=PL...cmt4k3bMKBZ5Tm

RedLetterMedia is the group that did the epic, and bizzare, 90-minute long takedown of Star Was - The Phantom Menace. Absolutely worth watching if you are into the mechanics of movies, as RedLetterMedia is comprised of professional video producers.

Night Train to Terror was horrendous. Like someone pointed out, it's like someone fast-forwarded to the only things they had budget for-gory special effects and paying women to show their boobies. The rest of the film was pieced together and guided along with clunky Ed Wood style narration [["but John didn't take her up on her offer, instead he found himself visiting a a very wealthy man...").

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Originally Posted by G-DDT

On two separate occasions I had to apologize to friends for movies I rented from Thomas Video that ended up reeking of foul dung. The first, involved setting up one friend for the anticipation of seeing "City on Fire" which was supposed to be the inspiration for Reservoir Dogs. The middle-aged gal working there grabbed the wrong one, and it turned out to be a Leslie Nielsen '70s disaster flick, about-yeah, you guessed it-a city that catches on fire. The periodic look I got from my pal during the viewing....

The second was the Butcher's Wife [[21% according to Rotten Tomatoes). I like Jeff Daniels and Frances McDormand and all, but this film was pretentious slop, worse than that one Demi Moore flick I had to sit through at the theaters [[my friends would pick some ranky, drawn-out stinkers back in the early '90s-I remember a large group of us chose to get up and leave the State/Filmore Theater on $1 Monday night right in the middle of The Crow we thought it was that bad.), I think it was called Mortal Thoughts.

I'm going to agree with cartoonist Mary Fleener most movies suck.

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You are so right, G-DDT. In fact most movies are like most of what's on TV, in books and the flotsam pile just keeps getting bigger and more bizarre since there are more of us crazy humans expressing themselves.

Funny. You mentioned "City on Fire". My first job in pictures was on that movie starring Henry Fonda, Ava Gardner and Leslie Nielsen as you said. I was an apprentice scenic painter and the boss who is not credited as the key scenic was a total nutcase, as per usual... A whole city block was built and I was initiated to the weird world of moviemaking magic, ahem...

Another dud I worked on much later was the infamous "Battlefied Earth" with John Travolta and Forrest Whitaker. We spent six months painting sets with the same steel blue color with a weird patina I designed for the look of the film. We ran out of the horrible Hammerite stock we needed and replaced with other toxic shit for the remainder of the production. Critics trounced the film as the worst film ever made in part I think because it had been produced by the Church of Scientology and the story was by the founder; Hubbard. In any case, I sat thru it without as much disgust as I had anticipated at the crew premiere. I have seen a lot worse. I also walk out on alot of pictures. I find movies are for the most part an amalgam of clichés. But I do love the good ones, and I think that I love good movies for that, I mean I don't love "the Movies" per se, just the good ones...

^^^Canuck, I feel for you. Especially with what you had to endure with Battlefield Earth [[I'd almost say you would be better off working for some goofy Grand Rapids operation that puts out movies like this apocalyptic one about Grand Rapids set in the year 30,000-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1764329/maybe it involves Dutch mutant pyramid schemes.). I do wish folks would get back into the craft of sets, make-up, matte designs, stop animation, and other plastic arts rather than C.G.I. and green screen it all. Yet, that would just make me go into a full blown rant on how much I hate C.G.I., how our brain's process it [[solid tint VS. phantasmic hue), and other things folks have said about the topic. So, at least you had your hands on a legitimate hand-on craft going there.

Working behind the scenes on anything takes the mystique of it for me-except maybe music. I'm glad I never became an actor or someone who works behind the scenes of s film, but I've sadly seen too much for me to enjoy most things out there. More and more I find I'm just looking at all the technique that goes into something and nodding or mostly grimacing. Just knowing the background of certain actors or persons involved can make me sour to an item, though I try to consider many of them are just human [[I may overlook Christian Bale's outbursts, but the politics of someone else may disgust me. It's a wonder that I can look past Polanski to actually admit "The Pianist" and "Chinatown" are freakin' awesome films-just feakin' awesome films done by a sick person with ties to a lot of sick people.).

Movie not to watch:[[and HBO has been hammering this one out way too much is Unfriended. What ever attempts at making a gripping story about revenge against cyber-bullies becomes terribly muddled in it's "realistic' execution. The audience is expected to squint and follow computer text for the majority of the film. Not only that, it's very tiny text-a counter-productive eyestrain that I would think test audiences or someone working on the project would've said "Uh...this may not work." Yet....I'm glad mumblecore eventually proved futile and is no longer employed [[only Jim Jarmusch can be Jim Jarmusch and get away with it with established talent and charm here, folks.) as a style, because it was pretty much the same kind of taxing strain of communication an audience does not deserve.

I've always been a Kristen Wiig fan. But the dark side of her is a little stretch in her recent movies.

Kinda like having Bob Hope doing Shindlers list.

I hope she finds her place, but pick one or the other.:confused:

It's also like Ryan Reynolds going from a slacker high on unemployed dude, on one movie, to a CIA agent in charge of a safe house the next.

Pick one please.

An old 1981 movie, On Golden Pond, was probably the most disappointing movie I've ever watched. At the time, it received rave reviews but it was such a downer. I didn't appreciate spending good money to watch people argue. Everyone has their own taste.

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Originally Posted by oladub

An old 1981 movie, On Golden Pond, was probably the most disappointing movie I've ever watched. At the time, it received rave reviews but it was such a downer. I didn't appreciate spending good money to watch people argue. Everyone has their own taste.

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In this day of Netflix at $7.99/ month, with a big screen TV, I thank God I didn't spend $8-10 on a crappy movie currently or back in the day.
You can't get that back. :confused:

Sometimes to take one kind of goofiness to remedy another far worse form of goofiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0_W6gomFA8

Please don't ever watch this classic piece of moviemaking magic. It could make you feel better.
https://youtu.be/qlg5InsskW4