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One of my personal favorites is the time I was starting to pump gas at the station on the south side of 8 mile at John R -- you know, ChoreBoy baggie place [[and this was the last time I stopped there).
I get out, go over to the pump and a fellow starts walking up to me. After he took two steps in my direction, I said loudly "Sorry, no cash".
He looked at me, shook his head and said "Man, you didn't even let me say anything".
I felt a little bad, and in a moment of weakness, I said "Alright, what's going on?"
He said, "my car just ran out of gas and all I need is some change so I can get to work".
Now pissed, I darted back loudly "Sorry, no cash".
FLMAO.
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I'm sure anyone can dig up a disgusting panhandler story.
The "car ran out of gas around the corner, and I got kids in it" has been used for a long time. I've only known of one incident where the person pestered was actually brought around the corner, shown the car with family in it, the gas can, and the empty gas gauge needle. Proof anything is possible in this world no matter what our built-up expectations presume.
Once again, it's at folk's digression on who and how they want to help. giving someone a place to stay is a real risk [[especially if it's not your place or you live with others). I, myself, was offered places to crash many times and glad I turned down as many as I did. I've had five incidents where I actually took people up on the offer and three of them were bad. The ones that were good involved traveling with a fellow Northerner up to Long Island City [[in Astoria), New York [[where I saw the suspicious news helicopter crash on the news that overshadowed the shooting in Brooklyn) to visit his mom, but this was after hanging out with the fellow Catholic for a number of months. The other involved an ex-nun who gave me a place to stay in Adrian for the night and fed me free-range eggs [[which only upset my stomach a little bit). All the bad ones were kooky to go into.
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Long ago, living in Detroit caused me to develop rules on how I assist folks.
A lot of it is just common sense.
I will not assist:
Most groups of two or more needy folks. Unless you are with a group of two or more, this is to be avoided. In fact, one has to be careful of a panhandler absorbing all of your attention or acting in a dominating or unpredictable fashion. It's a good way for their confederates to come up behind you and jack you [[almost happened to me by a 12 YO and his two 14 YO buddies under the Liberty pole in Rochester-people warned me about Main St.and the swarm beatings), and that's not to say someone else off to your side will help play distracting interference [[woman suddenly lifting her skirt or something).
I won't help "haunters". They hurt businesses, and they know they can be productive elsewhere instead of perching themselves in front of a store or parking lot. They most likely are professional panhandlers, and they are not making any attempt to seek resources elsewhere. Colbert just did an amazing imitation of a subway panhandler and looked at the crowd like "You've never seen that?". I was yelling at the TV screen "Yes! Yes! on the Redline by croaky-voiced junkies in Boston every week!"
Pop-ups. You park in a parking lot, and right from behind a car with a "who-who-whoop." appears this shadow that reaches out and says "Excuse me. Excuse me." Such shady ambushes are the ultimate in foreboding, and if you can't see them coming, chances are there is very little for them to attempt something worse given the right, isolated circumstances.
"Hey-Mans!". The opposite of above. I mean, really? who actually responds to some shadowy figure in an alley beckoning to you with their snakey finger gesture and going "Psst. Psst."? Anyone calling to you from across the street or from an alley is either a shady pusher or setting you up for an ambush. Just dismiss them with your hand, walk away, and hear them cuss you out.
Liars. Some of them are so far gone that they have lost the practice of telling truth or feel that it is the only way to live. If they are drug-addled enough, they will be so crazy/impaired enough to either believe their own lies [[the Costanza effect) or so messed up that they actually believe that you will believe them [[same can be said for a lot of the PR and spin doctor damage control BS-artists working for corporations and politicians). The more elaborate they spin them, they worse they sound; many times it's just insulting to the intelligence to the listener, yet, you got drunk folks on the town who find it kitsch to bait these guys to keep laying up the whoppers [[chances are they don't mind the mental masturbation it gives them to have someone actually pay attention to them). To you I say-Stop! leave them alone. Don't give them a chance to try out and practice their material. Liars should never be encouraged to think they will get anything for their deceit. It all should also be avoided if they claim they are collecting for some charity or selling chocolate for an academy with no verifiable proof.
Inventing a task. It's as cliche as the homeless window-wiper you see in movies set in NYC. You can't blame someone for trying to be busy and enterprising, and being a street peddler is one thing [[provided none of it was stolen) not to be completely condemned, but someone expecting a dollar because they are selling a free paper [[like Metro Times, as apposed to one of the papers that raise awareness about homeless issues that are provided through advocacy centers) or a miniature flag on a toothpick gets stupid and painful to watch. Once again, they can be doing better else-wise. The worst is when someone claims that they will "watch your car" for you while you are away. There is a subtle hint of coercion there, much like a business-owner having to pay "protection" money to mob enforcers. It's almost as if they are saying they will break into your car if you don't pay-up.
Comedians. Probably the most innocuous. They usually line-up some goofiness to lay on the night crowds. What they do is to disarm folks and make it feel as if you owe them for the yuks they provided. It's much like the invented task above. Once again, your digression. There is no crime in having a sense of humor, but it can be absorbing and a set-up distraction for a jacking.
Lately, I get a little sour when I pan-handlers at functions racially profiling who they hit up and who they don't. It's really a dumb assumption that all white people are well off.
Again, not all homeless panhandle, and there are many pan-handlers who abide by the rules set in some towns where they can't obstruct or accost with their "S'panging?", must keep a distance from businesses, and are regulated to quietly shaking a cup off to the side or flying a sign. You will also notice I didn't mention buskers. I like street musicians, I've been friends with many of them [[Boston and Madison), and I think there should be more of them around the areas.
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Yeah, Moross and 94 is jumping with activity. Seeing the area, I'm glad there is some agencies there to attempt to help.
I respect your situation there Stasu, because it illustrates what back-and-forth goes through my head when I see a potential panhandler [["Oh, here we go, I'm not up for this. No I barely got enough for gas and groceries. Have I seen this one before? Ugh. Okay. maybe I don't need Almond Milk this week, so..."). I will say something that may explain that situation better:
There are homeless people who hustle themselves into the ground to re-empower their lives. Once something like it hits, this country has developed things in such a quiet genocide against the poor, so it is almost damned impossible to pull oneself out, and it becomes a very traumatizing and if not, soul-deforming process [[especially if many of the systems demand such a Procrustean hoop-jumping, that one is in dire threat of losing their own identity) if it actually proves successful. Many poor become disgusted with the phony panhandlers who hurt them and cause public opinion to go against aiding social services that would best benefit them; so they don't even want to be identified as being like them. I say this, because I never panhandled and felt that way towards the ones who did.
I've been in towns where the folks were so cold towards anyone slightly dressed down from them [[and I dressed better in Boston as a homeless man than I do as a working Midwesterner just from the folded-up, clean stacks of clothes tossed out in boxes into the giant dorm dumpsters when the spoiled, wasteful Harvard kids leave-I even found a working laptop for my Ugandan girlfriend. Yet, these pompous bearded, bespectacled pea-coat wearing campus hipsters who look so fashionable in cold weather can identify you as poor just from the one notch off you are in fashion there in Massachusetts.), that they will straight-up ignore you when you need directions [[especially as a new-comer) or even need-yes-the time of day.
Even if you are working, you still got to eat, sleep, shower, shave/brush, poop, make appointments, check on storage, check messages, and do all this from a shelter or half-way home [[with all of it's insane hassles-which I won't go into), as you are building up funds and pursuing housing status leads. Job or no job, you still have to survive in the meantime. You get run down quickly, and you've never fully recovered from the harder running down you had to do prior to the few tiers you just achieved so far. Many times, you have to sit down-anywhere dry that doesn't have spikes growing out of it, just to collect yourself mentally and physically.
You may also need a sit-down [[vs. poorly responding by running to the nearby party store to "pick up") if you just hustled hard only to receive a harsh blow of disappointment [[especially with all of the misleading and outdated information out there). St. Aloysius on Washington Blvd used to provide service directly and has been hit hard. Places like that may also be "reference providers'' [[if you need help from a food pantry or to get bus tickets from one place, they may ask that you cut clear across town to get a "referral"-more hustling to make it there in the slim window of hours of operation, filling out forms, hoping you qualify, and more waiting in line.-Kafka never had it so bad!-and come back to access the services provided. This kind of exhaustive hoop-jumping is designed to discourage the lazy, phony exploiters of services, but it is very taxing for those already beset with too many trials.).
More than just food, clothes, staying clean and healthy, and having shelter, there are other very important things robbed from the poor. They become very valued, rare commodities that any human being will try to reasonably hold onto. Things like dignity, credibility, freedom, privacy, and security become paramount essentials. A poor person trying to stay afloat and improve things for themselves will value these things, and they will not like it if society even hints that have lost or will lose them. Dignity is a civil rights issue, and some will feel it is infringed upon when someone condescends [[even if with good intentions) upon them with charity they didn't request [[just why "please"-along with "help", "sorry", "I don't know", "I forgive you" and "thank you" are important phrases that test our ability to remain humble.).
Now you are getting a possible idea why she may've been sitting there, and why she responded to what "seemed like a sick joke life is playing on her." It's a shame life has kicked her so much at that point to where she couldn't have been better in responding without the prickliness that was consuming her. I get that way too.
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From personal experience, I had an incidence where I found my way back in Bloomington, IL. Ugh-yeah, "Like a good neighbor", my arse [[well that's not completely true, the grocery stores are cool there, the garage sales were alright, the Catholic presence was wonderful, and every so often, State Farm would cook a pancake breakfast on certain Saturdays at the Salvation Army or some Indian folks would cook up a Vegetarian meal.-still doesn't excuse the clandestine societies operating out of there, the segregation, the lack of a naturally-occurring body of water, the human trafficking, the ugly religious cults, and all of the freakin' morons there!)!
I was walking around a rounded park area drive near Normal, when a black sports car slowed down and stopped well over twenty yards away [[uh-oh-watch it!). I slowed down, and watched as the passenger window rolled down, and I saw two bills of money fall out to the ground and the car roared off. I thought "WTF!" As I strolled by [[and I already determined not to touch whatever they just "threw" out the window), I craned my head to notice two fives on the ground. Yeah, I could've used them, but I had stronger principals, and if this person was too "scared" or pompously aloof to engage me, I wasn't going to touch any of it. I moved on, and caught a Latino family having a picnic and I told them there was some money lying on the ground around the corner. I think they just looked at me with confusion.
I wanted to tell someone of that BS, and I knew if I told any of the sociopathic, deceitful morons in the shelter, I would've gotten the "What!? Are you crazy? I wouldn't taken that ssheet, dawg!." I told one of the younger staff, who right away laughed at the initial way that person "distributed their charity". I explained on, and he was like "I mean, really, Hi! I'm supposed to pick up your ground money, Mr. Scared White Man. I would've been the same way about it."
A month later, I was in LaCrosse [[I believe it was. Yeah. a dumb bluff town-something about the lead content, I guess), when a dirty, rusty, old brown pick-up truck made a wild turn at an intersection as I was crossing with the light, the ginger-haired buzzed-cut chicken-necked yokel kid in the seat throws out a hand full of pennies and dimes onto the road while yelling "Have some change, you homeless piece of s---!." What am I supposed to say?: "Yeah, thanks, Opie." Again, do you really think I was going to pick any of it up, even if I was wearing poor-fitting shoes that were killing my feet?